It could be said that moving on from a broken heart is one of the most incredible feats of individual perseverance — a concerted effort at building yourself back up after learning to rely on the companionship of a romantic partner (or non-romantic partner — losing friendships can often be just as trying).
There's an entire consumer market geared toward the rehabilitation of the soul; self-help and positive affirmation books, entire novels and television series and films that pay homage to the plight of a wounded heart — all are testaments to breakups as an essential part of the human condition. After all, some of the greatest love stories in human history were written in the name of unrequited love.
But what's really the "right way" to move on from an aching heart? The truth is that there isn't one. Every person has to move on in his or her own way, but there are ways to help yourself create that change yourself.
Psychology Today has four scientifically proven methods to create the kind of positive change in your life necessary to move past that heartache and toward new and positive change. Bookmark them, heed them, and save them for a friend in need.
Check out the full list below, and SHARE this list with your Facebook friends to pass it on!
Image: fihu/Flickr
1. Find a role model
"Look to your own life, pop culture, or the news for a 'ditch-the-ex' role model," suggests Psychology Today. They add that looking to a figure who has his- or herself overcome a trying time to empower and inspire you to do the same — friends and family can fill this role, too!
(Editor's suggestion: Beyoncé forever.)
2. Focus your energies on something new
"The best way to make an old habit less tempting is to find a new 'addiction,'" they write. Did you give up a hobby when you started seeing your former partner? How about cooking, reading, or running? Try to make that thing the focus of your free time again. Stay busy!
3. Treat yourself to some TLC
"Feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or anxious triggers a physiological need to connect, and a craving for what psychologists call 'contact comfort,'" they write. "Stress also makes your brain focus on potential reward, and ignore potential risk. So you're likely to imagine the warm embrace of a romantic reunion, and forget the shame or regret you felt after the last hook-up."
Treat yourself to pedicures at home, get a massage, plug in your headphones and go for a long walk. Make sure that you're treating yourself with the kindness you need and deserve to stay healthy and facilitate positive change. Heck, buy yourself a bouquet of flowers to keep by your bedside!
4. "Beware the white bear"
Psychology Today writes:
“There’s one guaranteed way to make sure you never forget your ex: Try to push him out of your mind completely. Psychologists call this the ‘White Bear Effect.’ If you try not to think about a white bear, one will assuredly pop into your mind.”
So what to do when that old someone comes to mind? Relax, they write. Acknowledge that it’s happening, remember why he or she is no longer in your life, and redirect that energy back to you!
Please be sure to SHARE this list with your Facebook friends — you never know who may need it!
