Welcoming a baby to the family should be a happy occasion, especially for a grandma. But when grandmas become caretakers, the waters can get muddy. This is the case for one grandma who took to Reddit to see if her lackluster reaction to a new grandchild was appropriate.
This grandma has already supported her daughter through getting pregnant in college. The daughter is not financially stable, so the grandma fears she will have to step in yet again. She is not looking forward to it.
The first time her daughter got pregnant was in college.
The grandma explains the tricky situation. “My daughter got pregnant the second year into college, it was not a good time,” she writes. “My husband and I stepped up so she could finish college, which she did. She just graduated and just got a job.”
There's a catch.
While having a job sounds like a good thing, there’s more to the story. “The problem is at the moment she can not afford childcare or rent since her job kinda sucks,” the grandma continues. “We were hoping she would be moving out by the end of the year. She told us today that she is pregnant again.”
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This was not the reaction the daughter was hoping for.
The grandma was not pleased to hear this news. “When she told us I said not again,” she explains. “She asked if I was happy for her and I told her no. That we will not look after another kid and we already wanted her to find her own place by the end of the year or next summer at the latest.” This did not go over well. “She is pissed at us and we got into an argument,” the grandma adds, before asking if she was wrong in this situation.
Reddit sides with Grandma on this one.
The popular Reddit AITA forum was overwhelmingly on this grandma’s side.
One user breaks it down for the grandma: “You helping with childcare is a privilege, not a right and you already did well by her with her first kid. It's selfish to keep having them if you rely on other people to pick up the slack and your responsibilities.”
The grandma doesn't want to raise more kids.
“You have every right to be unhappy given that thus far you have been a part time care taker and provide partial support to your daughter and grandchild,” chimes in another user. “You didn't sign up to raise and support your grandkids, that is a job generally reserved for the parents of the child.”
What about birth control?
While the forum agreed with the grandma, the daughter’s actions caused the forum to get into a big debate about birth control. Many wondered why the daughter did not use it properly because she was not in a good financial situation. Others argued that perhaps she was not well educated about the topic.
A baby on the way.
At the end of the day, the baby is coming. Grandma will have to set strict boundaries about what she is willing to do. Reddit agrees with her.
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