When Harnaam Kaur turned 11, she began to grow a beard. The condition is known as hirsutism, and it is a symptom of polycystic ovary syndrome.
The hair would eventually spread from her face to her arms and chest. Ashamed of her facial hair, she would wax it off twice a week — but the bullying would not stop.
“I got bullied badly — at school I was called a ‘beardo’ and things like ‘shemale’ and ‘sheman.’ I can laugh about it now, but back then it affected me so badly that I began to self-harm because it felt better than all the abuse I was getting,” she said. “I’d talk to people with a hand over my face and I wore baggy, tomboy clothes to cover up the hair on my chest and arms.”
The bullying made Harnaam want to take her own life. Like another bullied teen, Lizzie Velasquez, she even became agoraphobic. “I didn’t want to go outside my house because I couldn’t take the stares from strangers so I’d lock myself in my room. It got so bad that I just didn’t want to live anymore,” she said.
See how Harnaam made the decision to stand up to her bullies and take back her life below.
Harnaam began growing facial hair at 11 years old. For years she would wax her beard but at 24 years old, after years of bullying, Harnaam made the decision to stop waxing.
"I would never ever go back now and remove my facial hair because it's the way God made me and I'm happy with the way I am. I feel more feminine, more sexy and I think I look it too. I've learned to love myself for who I am nothing can shake me now."
Today Harnaam thinks she looks just as beautiful with the beard as she did without it.
"I'd had enough of the bullying and the self-harming and the suicidal thoughts. I wanted to change my whole outlook on life and I thought I thought it was time to stop locking myself away — I had to do something about it.
It was incredibly daunting going outside because people would stare more than ever. At first I was angry but I realized that they didn't understand and were probably too afraid to ask me so I just decided to smile back."
"I removed my beard once during a really low moment but when I'd done it all I could do was cry because I didn't feel like myself without my beard. My brother was actually the one person who was completely shocked by what I had done – he hugged me and said I had looked so beautiful with my beard, he didn't understand why I had done it.
It was from that point that I thought I'm never going to remove it ever again."
“All that matters to me at the moment is that I love myself. I love my beard and all my other little quirks — my tattoos, my scars, stretch marks, and blemishes.
I want other women to find the strength that I have. If I had any message it would be to live the way you want — it’s your journey and it’s your life.”
Harnaam recently wrote her younger self a letter to say all the things she wish she knew back then when she was a hurting child.
“You don’t see your self-worth, you don’t love yourself, and you haven’t embraced the compassion inside you that your soul is waiting for you to unleash. When will that time come when you unleash the real you? You need to speak louder, hold your head higher, make yourself be noticed, show people that you have a voice. You need to take strides with confidence; you need to be a bit prouder. Be proud of the beauty that you hold inside your body. Be proud of the strength that you have inside you that you will one day unleash.”
“I can feel you self consciously quiver when you try to speak up, your eyes, your beautiful big eyes hide even before they lay eyes on another. Use your voice to speak of your difficulties, be brave and tackles your issues head strong. The strength that you have inside is enough to shake mountains. Use it; use it to help yourself and others. Focus on your bright future which I promise that you will definitely have.”
See Harnaam discuss her decision to stop waxing her beard in the vide below!
Harnaam now works to spread body positivity and show women, who may not feel beautiful that they absolutely are.
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