I Put Hemorrhoid Cream On My Face To See If It Would Get Rid Of The Bags Under My Eyes

I feel like I've had bags and dark circles under my eyes since before I understood why anyone would be sleep-deprived. Dark circles and eyelids are common among women with dark skin, so I never gave them much thought. My mom always told me that having dark eyelids was a blessing, a natural eye shadow.

My dark under-eyes got worse about a year ago, and regular foundation wasn't doing the trick anymore. I tried drugstore and fancy concealers, and I still looked like I was walking into walls on the regular. I even took to wearing glasses instead of my usual contacts to mask the discoloration.

I visited a dermatologist, who said the problem was probably due to seasonal allergies and gave me a retinoid cream, which I used for a while. The skin around eyes is very sensitive, and doctors deter patients from using anything strong for long periods of time.

The circles and bags got a little better, but sometimes they reappear, especially on my left eye. Occasionally, I'll use Vaseline at night (per my doctor's recommendation), but I've mostly gotten used to them.

Recently I was tagged in some photos with new friends and was horrified to see how puffy my eyes have gotten. This time, I wanted an easy cure that wouldn't have any side effects.

After scouring the internet and Amazon, I read that Sandra Bullock, Kim Kardashian, and Emma Stone use hemorrhoid creams under their eyes to combat under-eye bags. Celebrity stylists had even more possible solutions that didn't cost an arm and a leg and were available in either my kitchen or over the counter. I'm always open to DIY (read: cheap) solutions.

If they're good enough for Oscar winners and Vogue cover girls, they're good enough for me! With this in mind, I headed to the drugstore to try a hemorrhoid cream for something not hemorrhoid-related.

Before

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Here's a photo of me fresh out of the shower, smiling. My eye bags are really noticeable!

With Makeup

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Foundation does a pretty good job of covering up bags, and I have concealer for special occasions. But makeup melts off my face in the summer, and I need to not frighten people by looking like the living dead.

Testing Preparation H

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I was a little embarrassed to buy hemorrhoid cream at Walgreens, so I added tissues, a protein drink, and gummy bears.

The internet has different opinions on when to apply the cream, but I opted for nighttime, assuming that would allow more time for the H to do its thing. It's also when I used to apply Vaseline and the cream my doctor prescribed.

 

Application

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It tingled a little upon application, but I knew to expect that from the articles I read. It wasn't unpleasant, kind of like using a minty cleanser. The smell was terrible and strong, but I was exhausted, so I spread on a thick layer and went to bed.

The Next Morning

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The next morning, I slept in and woke up refreshed, pleased I hadn't rubbed my eyes while I was asleep. The bottle warns that contact with eyes causes irritation. I didn't notice much difference so far, but I didn't expect a change in one night.

I decided to try some other celebrity recommendations the rest of the week, in addition to the Preparation H cream.

Milk Test

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The World's Greatest Supermodel, Cindy Crawford, uses milk on her skin to reduce puffiness. I soaked a cotton ball in 1% milk and smeared it under my eyes. The cool liquid felt like chilled toner. I rinsed it off after 10 minutes and waited for a change.

Potato Test

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Lauren Conrad recommends the juice from potatoes to reduce under-eye puffiness. She didn't get to be The Girl Who Didn't Go To Paris by having under-eye bags, so I bought a single potato and used the vegetable peeler my mom gave me for the first time.

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Next I grated the potatoes, which was actually kind of fun. Maybe I should cook more…

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Surprisingly, potato "juice" actually came out of the peels! I soaked a cotton ball in the liquid and rubbed it under my eyes. It did have a nice cooling effect, similar to the milk. I expected some sort of smell, but raw potatoes are basically odorless.

Tomato Test

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Another DIY hack recommended by celebrity stylists is using tomato slices as eye masks to brighten skin.

After slicing the juicy tomatoes, I was kind of terrified to put the squishy things on my face! I decided it would be less messy to try this experiment on my yoga mat.

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It was hard to balance both tomatoes on my face at once. Maybe cherry tomatoes next time?

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My eyes post-tomato were dripping and sticky. I rinsed the seeds and pulp from my face, hoping none of the tomato actually went into my eye. Vegetables are natural, right?

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After the tomato test, there were a few tomato stains on my yoga mat.

Midweek Update

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After three days of hemorrhoid cream and other natural remedies, I didn't notice much of a change. The sensitive skin under my eyes was starting to tingle, but not in a good way. I decided to give my eyes a break from the Prep H and instead try another natural remedy.

Frozen Spoon Test

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Selena Gomez, Kate Hudson, and Whitney Port swear by putting frozen spoons on their eyes to reduce puffiness and dark circles. Quite the motley crew of celebrities, but they all have glowing skin, so I'll try it! I popped a couple spoons in my freezer for a few hours.

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I felt a little ridiculous putting spoons on my face and briefly wondered about the cleanliness of my freezer. But the coolness felt good; I'm glad I chose summer to try this experiment! After 10 minutes, my arms started to hurt, so I washed the spoons and hoped to see some difference the next morning!

End of the Week

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I think my under-eye bags are a little better! I didn't have a lot of faith in this gross-sounding cure, but I think stars might be just like me. I'm willing to try hemorrhoid cream once a week and check for long-term improvement.

Overall, trying these remedies was a success. Unlike some other DIY hacks, they weren't very messy (other than the tomatoes), and it was easy to buy ingredients. In the summer heat, putting anything cool on my eyes felt good, even if the cure didn't work.

Until I can afford fancy products, hemorrhoid cream will have to do!