People say that you never forget your "first time." For most, this is probably true. There's nothing like losing your virginity to make you feel like you're turning into a woman.
However, I am a bigger fan of a lesser-known saying that I once heard in passing. It goes, "A woman never forgets the first time she has sex, but she really never forgets the first time she has good sex." This perspective is a little more honest.
Let's remember that most people's first times were awkward, probably painful, and sometimes bloody. Of course, the blame for this is often laid on our hymens, or the idea that your first time involves, as the crude saying goes, "popping your cherry."
The phrase is not only gross, but it reveals how our lady parts, or hymens in this case, are largely misunderstood.
As it turns out, your hymen never breaks. You might bleed a little bit when you're young and not used to sex, but that's not actually because a membrane inside of you has broken. Scroll through to learn more.
So, what's a hymen anyway? Most women have probably had them, but what exactly is it?
Planned Parenthood describes the mysterious membrane simply as "a thin, fleshy tissue that's located at the opening of your vagina."
They go further to explain that everyone's hymen is shaped differently and that most have a hole big enough for comfortable tampon use.
However, everyone's hymen is different. Some are larger and might cover most of your vaginal canal, and some people might be born with virtually no hymen at all.
History says that it is the "breaking" of the hymen that causes a lot of women to bleed the first time they have sex.
Supposedly, the penis breaks the hymen, causing pain and releasing blood.
Not bleeding during your first time may be normal, but so is bleeding.
However, bleeding isn't usually because you "popped" your cherry or popped anything at all for that matter.
According to Medical Daily, research has found that the hymen stretches over time and doesn't actually break. By the time most girls lose their virginities, their hymens have stretched enough to accommodate a penis.
With that said, urban legend has it that you can easily break your hymen by doing an activity like horse riding as a little girl.
Since your hymen doesn't actually "break," this isn't technically the case. However, an activity like this can cause the membrane to stretch.
Also, as you get older and your hormone balance changes, your hymen naturally shrinks.
In fact, there are a lot of everyday activity that can cause the hymen to stretch.
According to Gurl, some of these can include, sports, an injury, using tampons, riding a bike, and your body changing as you grow.
Surprisingly, a doctor looking at the hymen cannot tell whether or not it has been penetrated. There's no difference between a virginal hymen and sexually active hymen.
Plenty of people still bleed and experience pain during their first time. After all, that's what prompted the story of blood-stained sheets on a wedding night.
However, bleeding from your first time usually has more to do with inexperience and lack of proper lubrication than with your hymen.
Even if your hymen does tear a little bit from sex, it repairs itself quickly.
As you get older and are more active in that region, your hymen will stretch out and become more flexible with time.
So, if you ever thought your hymen broke, it probably didn't. "Popping your cherry" is a misnomer.
What does that mean for your body? Women of all ages, virgins and otherwise, still most likely have their hymens.
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