My name is Sneha, and I suffer from boob sweat — specifically, underboob sweat. It's time for those of us who suffer from this embarrassing affliction to step out of the shadows and be open with each other!
If you are lucky enough to have sweat-free boobs, let me enlighten you about the problems we sufferers experience all seasons of the year. Some people assume only women with large breasts suffer from sweaty cleavage, but I'm a 32A and feel like a burst fountain after spending a normal day outside in the heat.
Even in the winter, I get sweaty under my coat and layers; I head to the office bathroom immediately after arriving at work to wipe a damp paper towel under my bra while hoping no one walks in and sees me with my hand down my shirt.
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I tried to solve the problem by stuffing my bra with tissues or paper towels, even toilet paper in a pinch. However, they didn't absorb the sweat and left my bras and skin covered in lint.
And I worried the paper might fall out and I'd have to explain why tissues were coming out of my shirt. What reason wouldn't make me sound like a weirdo?
I tried pantyliners, something a lot of women swear by. But the adhesive side would unstick from my bra halfway through the day.
I also tried baby powder, another recommended solution. I wasn't a fan of the smell. And it also left my skin and clothes covered with a fine white powder. If I can buy black-colored dry shampoo, shouldn't I be able to buy brown baby powder?
But it's 2018, and the skin care industry has recognized underboob sweating as a legitimate affliction. So I decided to try some of the new solutions on the market to see if I could keep my chest dry this summer.
Degree All the Way
My deodorant of choice is Degree. It's labeled for men, technically, but it works for me and has a fresh scent. What makes men's and women's deodorant different, anyway? I'm not even a fan of the flowery scents traditionally used in deodorants marketed to women.
My first deodorant was Teen Spirit by Lady Speed Stick. The scent "Pink Crush" made my middle school locker room smell like B.O. and expired potpourri.
My current method of preventing underboob sweat is rubbing Degree underneath my bra. Since I'm trying new options, one can deduce it doesn't really work.
1. Foot Powder
The internet has a lot to say about underboob sweat and solutions. While I wait for my specialty Amazon products to arrive, I decide to try another way people stop sweat… for feet.
I try the spray in my bathroom, which leaves the counter and mirror coated in a fine layer of white gunk. I end up spraying myself while standing in the bathtub.
The spray works OK. It holds up during my morning commute, which is when the sweating usually starts, but it doesn't last through the day. I end up peeling off my shirt and splashing water on myself as soon as I walk in my apartment.
2. Lady Anti Monkey Butt
The next two items on my list arrive in a two-pack of pink lady products — a specialty powder and a lotion designed specifically to stop underboob sweat.
(I loved receiving a package that specified it was a "NO SWEAT BUNDLE FOR WOMEN.")
I decide to try the oddly named Lady Anti Monkey Butt powder first. I've tried using baby powder for sweat before, which always got on my clothes, but this formula promises not to.
Powder is the messiest. I end up applying it in the bathtub again.
But this powder really works! It blends right into my dark skin without leaving a white coating. It doesn't leave any powdery residue on my clothes, either.
I stay dry the whole day, even while waiting on a sweaty subway platform. The powder is also recommended to help "chub rub" (aka inner thigh chafing) or any other area that might chafe.
3. "Fresh Breasts"
Next up, I am really looking forward to trying Fresh Breasts lotion. It made the news in mainstream women's publications when it was announced; even Jezebel reviewed it. Warning: The comments sections of underboob sweat articles can get vicious.
I expect using a lotion will eliminate some of the problems I associate with a powder, but I am wrong. After rubbing it vigorously into my skin, the lotion eventually dries into a powder-like finish. I end up having to change out of the moderately low-cut dress I am wearing so the aftermath won't show.
Unfortunately, Fresh Breasts leaves my own breasts less than fresh. I find myself tucking my shirt under my bra to soak up the sweat that develops midday.
Some people use the Anti Monkey Butt powder and Fresh Breasts lotion together, but I don't want to risk a Ross-in-leather-pants type of scenario.
4. Apple Cider Vinegar
Next up, a tried-and-true natural hack — apple cider vinegar. I get little bumps on my chest when I sweat a lot in the summer (ew, I know). They're not pimples exactly, because they disappear once the weather cools down and I'm no longer dripping like an old air conditioner, but they're not ideal.
I try this remedy at night because I can't sleep without covers on, and even with air conditioning, I can get a little sweaty. I hate the smell of apple cider vinegar, so I rub a cotton swab with water over my skin after application. Some online forums recommend essential oils for people who really can't stand the smell.
It works! I stay dry overnight. Over time, the antifungal properties of apple cider vinegar are also said to keep your skin bump-free, so I'll definitely be trying it again.
Success!
At the end of the week, I'm satisfied with my experiment. I'll definitely use Anti Monkey Butt again, and I'm going to continue to use apple cider vinegar overnight.
My New Necessities
I'm headed to a bachelorette party in Atlantic City and plan to keep dry with my new products. I've packed my bag with all the products I tried this week — maybe I can help my friends keep their boobs sweat-free, too?
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The biggest revelation of this week was finding out how many other women experience underboob sweat!
I was open about my experiment online and was surprised at the number of people who chimed in and shared their own embarrassing sweaty stories.
Because this is primarily a women's problem, and we're discouraged by society to reveal anything "gross" about our bodies, we end up suffering in silence without even our friends to help us.
I'm excited to spread the word about the products I love. Even if something doesn't work for me, I want my fellow sisters to know these solutions exist, and we shouldn't have to stuff tissues in our bras anymore.