The internet is a great resource, but it's also unfortunately rife with less-than-scrupulous people. There are all kinds of creepy scams lurking in dark corners, and even if you're generally careful, it can sometimes be easy to fall into one of their webs.
One of the most insidious is the dating scam, because it not only robs people of money, but also manipulates their emotions. In a dating scam, the scammer poses as a faraway love interest, and finds their victims on dating sites. They establish an online relationship with a victim, and after luring them into a feeling of comfort, start asking for money. Usually, they make up a story about an emergency, and have the victim send them money.
These scams have robbed and hurt many people, especially middle-aged and older women who are just looking for some love and friendship. And while many are hurt and angry, one victim used her experience to make lives better — including the life of the very man who scammed her.
Maria Grette of Sweden was 62 when she set up a dating profile and thought she'd hit it off with a 58-year-old man in Denmark. The divorcee had only just started considering dating again, and so she was overjoyed when the man seemed so eager to start a relationship.
He had a way and a sweetness I had never known in a man before," she said. "And he was innocent in a way that puzzled me."
The man said he wanted to meet, but that he first had to attend to business in Nigeria. The next thing Grette knew, he was messaging her asking her for money, claiming that he and his son had been mugged and injured, and couldn't pay for medical bills. Grette sent thousands of euros to help.
And then she got a message she never expected.
Maria Grette was divorced and looking for a possible new relationship in Sweden, so she set up a profile on a dating website.
Soon, she found herself talking to who she thought was a 58-year-old man from Denmark, who sent her lots of sweet and loving messages.
But in reality, Grette had fallen for a dating scam, and soon she found herself sending large amounts of money to Nigeria, where her internet friend claimed to be on a business trip.
After sending the money, Grette began to feel suspicious, and her fears were confirmed when, after weeks with no contact, the man contacted her again.
This time, though, he confessed. He was not 58, and he was not from Denmark. Instead, he was a 24-year-old from Nigeria, involved in a dating scam network.
Grette was angry and hurt, but she mostly felt sorry for the young man.
"The most terrible thing was not that he had cheated me, but that he had lost his innocence," she said. She demanded to know more about his life, and how he'd ended up running dating scams.
The man, Johnny, felt bad about what he did, calling himself a "devil" for his actions. Grette, though, felt bad that a young, educated man was so desperate that he had to turn to a life of lies.
So she decided to meet him face to face and see if she could help him out. She traveled to Africa, and the two met for the first time. And it turned out their connection really wasn't all that fake.
"When I saw him at the airport in Abuja, tears fell over his face, and I knew I had known him all my life," Grette said.
Because of their age difference, Grette and Johnny didn't develop a romantic relationship, but they did become close friends.
Grette also met some of his friends, many of whom also worked as scammers, and decided that she needed to provide opportunities for young people so that they wouldn't have to resort to scamming.
"I asked myself what I could do to prevent a situation where healthy, good young men fall into this trap," she said.
She started a program that provides young Nigerian artists and students the chance to attend events and conferences in Europe, and helps them get a leg up on their careers through funding and grants. She also helped Johnny pay for the rest of his college education.
Today, some seven years after they first "met," Grette and Johnny are still in touch. Johnny works for an American oil company, and has given up scamming for good. And as for the initial scam? Grette has no hard feelings.
"He has asked me so many times to forgive him and I told him that the most important thing is to forgive himself."
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