Having a mother-in-law who plays favorites is problematic, but one mother-in-law took it to a new level by telling her grandson that he was "extra special" and deserving of extra attention compared to his sister.
In a post on Reddit, a woman explained that she has two children — a 5-year-old daughter and an 8-year-old son. After a difficult childbirth experience when her son was born, the woman realized that she didn't want to give birth again, but she and her husband still wanted more children. They made the decision to adopt.
Her MIL does not approve of this decision.
Dealing with a complicated pregnancy and making the decision to adopt is already a lot, but as if that weren't enough, her MIL did not approve of the decision to not have another biological child: she was "furious" and "disapproving." "After hearing we were going to adopt a child her anger turned into rage," the woman wrote in her post. "She screamed about how we didn't know the parentage of the child and might end up bringing in someone who would disgrace her lineage."
The kids get into a fight one day when the MIL is watching them.
One day, the MIL visited the woman's home. The woman was exhausted and wanted to take a nap, so the MIL offered to look after the kids for some time. After her MIL left, the woman heard a loud sound, then heard her daughter, Julia, crying. She ran over to her kids and found her son, Malcom, shouting at Julia: "You're not real! All of this is mine!"
More from LittleThings: Mom Abandons Daughter At 7 To Marry A New Man Then Asks To Move In With Her 25 Years Later
Her son says his grandma told him he's 'extra special.'
The woman asked her son what he meant when he said that, and he shared that his grandma told him he is "extra special" and should get special attention. She also told him that he was "mommy and daddy's real son" and that Julia was not his real sister. Malcom and Julia already knew that Julia was adopted, but the woman was mad that her MIL told her son that he deserved special treatment because of it.
The woman tells her MIL that she will not be seeing the kids anymore.
The MIL also told Malcom that he "is always going to be grandma's favorite grandson." After finding out about everything that she said, the woman decided that her MIL would not be seeing the children anymore. She told her she could see them when they were older and "wouldn't be swayed by her words."
The woman's husband defends his mother.
The woman said that banning the MIL from seeing the grandkids made her husband upset. "He adores his mother and told me that stopping her from seeing the kids is inhumane, she's simply old fashioned and she didn't know her words would bring this big of an impact," the woman wrote.
Redditors do not believe the excuses.
Redditors responded to the woman's concerns by saying that the MIL is not a clueless old woman who doesn't understand the impact of what she's saying. She will continue to disapprove of the daughter, and it will continue to impact the daughter, many pointed out.
"Your daughter will never be accepted by this woman," one person wrote. "She will always be othered and kept separate from the family. Your husband needs to recognize this and make his choice."
Being old-fashioned is not an excuse, they said.
Although the MIL is an older woman with more old-fashioned views, Redditors did not think this was an excuse.
"'She's just old fashioned' is a stupid excuse to ignore someone's ignorance," one person wrote. "She might be a 'lil old lady', but that means she has the knowledge to understand what is and isn't acceptable at this point in her life."
Another added that even if she has these views about adoption, she should not be sharing those views with the children.
"As for your husband's excuse of his mother being 'old school', that's just an excuse for elders to be rude and disrespectful; she needs to adapt and change her disgusting mindset," the same Redditor continued.
Protecting her children is what's important.
Most Redditors agree that the woman and her husband should look out for and protect their children. Some described the MIL's behavior as abusive and saw it as a major red flag if the woman's husband couldn't recognize that.
"If your husband didn't have the same reaction to this absolutely disgusting behavior going behind your back and sabotaging your kids' relationships, then you have some serious thinking to do, because your husband won't protect his children from his mother," one person pointed out.
The MIL's behavior sounds abusive to many.
Some Redditors recommended counseling for the family, and added that the MIL's behavior is abusive and could seriously impact the children's mental health.
"You need to protect your daughter and make sure that both she and your son understand that they are 'real" family,'" one person advised. "You may want to look into finding an adoption competent therapist to undo the damage your MIL has done, and to make sure that Julia feels secure in her family."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
