Raising teens can be challenging at times. One mom recently opened up on Reddit about a challenge she's facing with her 16-year-old son.
She writes, "Yesterday while I was making lunch I heard a really loud sound, as if the ceiling was falling or a bookshelf had fallen.
"My husband (41M) and daughter (17F) were out, the only other person in the house was my son (16M). I was pretty sure he was in his room, which is at the opposite side of the house from the kitchen, so while making my way there I checked every room and everything seemed in order."
She was worried her son was hurt.
"I knocked on my son’s door and called his name, no answer. I must have knocked/called 3 times before trying to open the door which was locked," the original poster (OP) explains.
"At this point I was getting really freaked out, thinking that maybe he tipped his wardrobe or bookshelf and it had fallen over him and he was passed out on the floor. I was basically screaming his name, no answer."
She broke down her son's door.
"I have no idea how I did it. I just threw myself the door and it broke. Now, clearly the door was already weak (I’m thinking termite?) but, yeah, it broke," OP continues.
"My son was fine. He was freaked out about the door but fine. The sound was his TV with the volume at the max, apparently. And he didn’t answer me calling because he didn’t want me bothering his movie. His words were 'You were screaming like a harpy and it was annoying, I was trying to watch the movie. Fix the door.'"
She decided to remove the door permanently.
"I said no. I wasn’t going to fix it since to 'fix it' I would have to buy a new door and doors are expensive. And as soon as his dad got home he would remove the door entirely as it was too broken to just stay there.
"He got really mad. Said it’s his 'right' to have a door, he deserves his privacy. I said he had a door and while I was the one that broke it and it was a consequence of his actions, so if he wanted a door he would have to buy it (I know he doesn’t have the money for it right now). Until then, no door. He can change in the bathroom. He said [expletive] you, I said he was grounded."
Her husband is supporting her.
"My husband is fine with it, says only I know how scared I was, so only I can know the appropriate punishment. I’m now terrified that if anything happens where we really need to reach my son, we won’t be able to."
People have a suggestion: replace the door, take the TV.
One person commented, "Yep, I agree with this. Teenagers really do need privacy, but a TV is a luxury. If he is abusing that luxury by it being too loud and him ignoring you, then taking it away is the most natural consequence."
There's more to think about, too.
Another person added, "Also, not having a door is a fire risk. Doors are important for stopping the spread of fires, were one to happen.
"That said, these dynamics and attitudes don't happen overnight. I'd suggest taking some introspection and figuring out what has been going on to get to a place where maybe he doesn't feel mutually respected, and working together to fix it so both of you feel good about your relationship. Exerting power over him is not going to do it, I can guarantee that."
