Dad Secretly Sends Son To Private School, Ex-Wife Loses It Because Her Other Kids Can’t Go

The dad explained that his son has cried about not wanting to go to school. "All the teacher does is yell at the class to stop talking, then the kids keep talking and we never do anything and I hate being there," the dad says his son told him.

The dad then asked his son if he would rather go to a different school, to which his son replied, "yes." However, the child primarily lives with his mom. Although his dad lives in the same town, the child stays with his mom during the week and sees his dad on weekends. "I would describe the relationship between his mother and I as cooperative, but bad feelings persist," the dad noted.

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Though the boy was reportedly interested in going to another school, his mom didn't like the idea. When the dad talked to the boy's mom about sending their son to a "highly-regarded private school about 17 miles from our town," she pointed out that she has other kids who are not in private school, so it wouldn't be fair to them. Additionally, it would create more work for her, as she would have to take him to that school every day.

Determined to get him into a better school, the dad said he would pay for it and drop him off every day, but the mom still said no. "I told her I don't want our son to waste his potential, nor do I want to fail him as a father," the dad explained. "In essence, she responded that our son is just being a brat because he's bored."

Despite the mom's objections, the dad signed their kid up for private school anyway. When the boy found out, he was excited about the switch, but the mom was upset. The dad took to Reddit to ask the Reddit community what they think of his decision.

Some Redditors admired the dad for looking out for his kid, and thought his decision made sense.

"You do whats best for your son her other kids aren't your priority," one Redditor wrote.

While other Redditors agreed that it's great for the dad to care so much about the child's education, they think he was still out of line.

"Man I'm conflicted here because I'm very glad you're investing in your kid's education," one Redditor responded. "But parenting needs to be done with the understanding and approval of both parents."

"You need to handle this with his mother or go back to court, you put your child in the middle and that’s never ok," another wrote.

Sure, it seems like the dad is trying to support his son. But is switching schools really the best option? Some Redditors are skeptical.

"Instead of trying to support your son in his current environment, encouraging him to grow and adapt and be flexible – all learning experiences – you made the unilateral decision to take him to a school that in your mind is more expensive and therefore better," a Redditor wrote, adding that public school might be fine for the child since he was doing well before.

Enrolling him in another school might not even help if the issues brought to the parents' attention are not addressed. One Redditor pointed out that the teacher has reached out to the parents, but it seems like the parents did not try to get to the root cause of the issues or even really try to understand.

The parents could've spoken to the teacher or principal, taught their kid better coping skills, gotten him tested for ADHD, and taken other steps before deciding to send the child to private school, one Redditor pointed out.

Several teachers also pointed out that this is a fairly common third grade experience.

"This is the age where a lot of children go through a big growth spurt in emotional maturity, and they become more aware of their sense of self and how they see themselves in the world," one teacher wrote. "This causes a lot of kids to start testing their parents in the whole 'do I really have to do this?' area."

Many Redditors believed that regardless of the decision that was made, it was a decision that the dad and mom should've made together.

"You say it won't affect her because you will pay and give rides," one Redditor commented. "But who subs for you when you can't drive? And her ability to be involved in your son's school activities, teacher conferences, etc. is now much more difficult."

"You explicitly stated that you’re a weekend dad," one Redditor pointed out. "You have no right to try and insert yourself here, at the mother’s expense. Have some self respect."

Though many Redditors admitted that maybe the dad had good intentions, they could also find many flaws in the way he went about dealing with this situation.

"I think you have the best intentions for your son, but poor judgement handling this situation," one Redditor wrote. "First of all, he was happy the other school years at his current school. It’s just this year’s class with this year’s students and teacher bringing him down – so you’re not even fixing that by changing his school for next year. Second, you’re not helping him learn how to deal with life."

"Why would you make a life decision in opposition to his mother?" another Redditor wondered. "It sounds like you could spend 21K to learn how to communicate more effectively."