If I had to describe my mom in a single statement, it would be as a stay-at-home mom who never lost her edge.
For as long as I can remember my mom was an avid supporter of my weirdness, my dreams of being a writer, and my independence.
My mom isn't too different from these moms who have passed down their best advice from their moms to their daughters.
Though she chose to be a full-time mom rather than pursuing a career, she always reminded me that I had any option I could think of.
My mother let herself be an example and an exception for what my future could look like. This, for me, was always the greatest gift she could give me: choices. I've boiled down my lifetime of advice from my mother to the 14 dos and don'ts of being a strong woman.
Check out the list below and SHARE if your mom has given you similar advice!
1. Don't apologize for "doing you."
Men don't have to apologize for who they are but women too often do. There's a difference between acting with self-interest and acting selfishly. The former is doing the things that make you feel good, the latter is doing the things that make others feel bad. There's no need to say you're sorry for knowing what's good for you.
2. Don't let words like "strong" confuse you.
You don't have to be able to deadlift 300 pounds or resist shedding tears in order to be strong. A woman with strength isn't afraid to be vulnerable. She isn't afraid to wear a dress or to like the color pink. She isn't afraid to put on a pair of pants and to get her hands dirty. A truly strong woman isn't afraid to see the soft in the tough, a truly strong woman is aware of her multitudes.
3. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
It's easy to get lost in the idea of being independent. We often think this means we have to do everything alone but that's not the whole truth. A woman who is independent knows what she can do and what she can't. That means being smart enough to know that to get the most desirable results, you sometimes have to get a better woman to do the job.
4. Don't be afraid of your own awesomeness.
You're probably really good at a lot of things which can be really, really scary. Being awesome comes with a lot of responsibility. You may have more people relying on your awesomeness, you may have people envious of your awesomeness, sometimes you can even be made fun of because of your awesomeness.
Fortunately, you're awesome enough to know that other awesome girls need awesome women to look up to.
Being a champion is hard but it's worth the glory.
5. Don't be afraid to say no.
Society often sends the message that we women are here to serve. In TV and movies women are the ones getting the "important men in business suits" coffee, answering their phone calls, and organizing their lives. Statistically women often hold jobs that involve a lot of care-taking whether that's being a nurse, secretary, a teacher or a waitress. So much so that the men who have these jobs sometimes get made fun for being "too girly." What gives?!
There's nothing wrong with holding those jobs but there is a problem when we uphold the stereotype that all women are here to serve everyone but themselves. Even we let ourselves fall into that role by accident when we don't want to.
If you don't want to do something , if you have to do it, it's OK to say no — especially when your safety and well-being are a concern!
6. Don't be ashamed of who you are.
No matter how weird, how different, how much of an outsider you feel like, you must resist the urge to be ashamed. There's no need to pretend that we live in a perfect society where everyone is tolerant and gets along. Yet, every little girl should know that no matter how strange she feels, there's always someone who love her unconditionally and that is mommy.
7. Don't be afraid to be alone.
People pretend like single women are failures or worse that every single woman on earth needs a man to complete her. Whether single or attached, you're enough for you. If someone wants to tag along for the ride, well that's another story.
See the "DOs" on the NEXT page.
8. Do choose your words carefully.
In a world where we can text, tweet, or update our statuses with every passing thought, we need to choose our words a little more carefully. The words we speak shape our identity to the outside world. To show the outside who we really are on the inside sometimes we have to have a little tact.
9. Do throw yourself into everything.
There's no sense in doing something if we're not going to do it with all of our might. No one can win every single time, trying is not about being the best. Finding the satisfaction in the means not the ends is how we build character, resilience, and strength.
Let things be difficult, that's how we learn and learning is how we grow.
10. Do break every glass ceiling.
Whether you're an athlete or a mathlete, don't let the look of a "boys club" keep you from fulfilling your potential. If any of our grandmothers stopped when they were told no, we wouldn't have any of the things we have today. Yet, there's still work that needs to be done, so be the one to do it.
11. Do define yourself.
Decide who you are, don't let others decide for you. Don't wait for someone to tell you you're beautiful, tell yourself. It's as simple as that.
12. Do have fun.
Sometimes we can get so caught up in responsibility we forget that fun is also our responsibility. What's the point of all those good grades, all those hours clocked in, all those sleepless nights trying to get the baby to bed, if we never enjoy the little time we have on earth. Pencil fun in the calendar.
13. Do have friends.
But choose them carefully. The people around you can either lift you up or put you down. Find the people who support you and hold onto them because they are few and far between.
14. Do be fearless!
Everything good that you will ever get will make your heart race with fear. Whether it's starting a new school, asking out your crush, getting a new job, getting married or becoming a mother for the first or fifth time. The uncertainty asking for what we want means that you always have to take a giant leap in the dark.
It's OK to be afraid, as long as you still take that giant leap forward.
Please SHARE this list with your friends and family!
