A lot of people struggle to fully get along with their in-laws. The reasons can vary widely, so there's no set rule that determines what makes the relationships so complicated.
One new mom recently shared on Reddit that she and her mother-in-law have been going head-to-head for months. Or rather, the mother-in-law has been attacking her — and the mom has been taking it quietly, until recently.
The mom explains that she just had a baby who looks a lot like her husband.
"So I (f25) recently gave birth to my daughter. She is currently 8 months now and is a super healthy and cute kid and i love her to bits.
"She was born looking very similiar to her father. My husband (m25) was a very well behaved, quiet kid. Everyone from the in-laws side tells that he was super calm, doesnt cry or throw tantrums, always sits in the exact spot he is kept in and isnt picky about food. So when my daughter was born, my MIL was expecting her to also be like that (esp since she also looks like my husband when he was a baby)."
The baby doesn't behave like her dad, and that seems to be a problem for the mother-in-law.
"Except that, she isnt. My daughter is well behaved but she cries, she can be picky sometimes, you know, like a NORMAL baby. And whenever she shows her negative traits, my MIL says something along the lines of 'oh its prolly from you' and ANY positive trait, she goes 'ah. Just like how my son was.' Ive been sucking it up ever since she was born but it kinda hurts."
The mom offers more examples.
"When my daughter started solids and wont like certain things, my MIL goes 'my son always ate whatever was offered to him so its from your side of the fam.'
"When my daughter cries/throws tantrums, 'oh my son wasnt like that. He never cried. You probably cried a lot when you were that age.'"
Eventually, the mom reacted.
"And it goes on and on. Countless little 'harmless' comments thrown around like this. Its been building up in my head and the last straw was, since she's now 8 months old, she has started to grab furniture etc and started getting up on her own. My MIL went 'my son was walking on his own at this age. You were probably a slow walker and thats probably why she cant do it.' I flipped out and told her to stop associating all of my kid's negative traits on me and the positives on my husband. I told her its rude and grabbed my kid and went to my place."
Now her husband's family is freaking out.
The mom adds that while her husband is on her side, everyone else in the family isn't. She wants to know: Is she in the wrong?
The first commenter says nope.
"She’s upset she got called out and is now trying to guilt trip you," the commenter wrote. "Information diet and restricted access until she can respect your boundaries."
Basically … babies are babies.
Another said, "She knows what she's saying is rude and snarky and is just upset you not only realized it but called her out on it. No babies are 'good all around babies' even my daughter who is extremely calm compared to other babies her age still has her bad days, they're babies."
Plenty of people think her husband needs to do more.
While pointing out that the mom did nothing wrong, another person added very important advice: "Side note: make sure your husband calls his family out more often for these types of things. It shouldn't get to you exploding for him to make a comment."
The real question is: Do 'bad' babies even exist?
"Yeah the whole good and bad baby thing is so weird to me," said one commenter. "They’re babies; they’re doing the best they possibly can it’s not bad for them to cry, not want to eat certain things or put toys in their mouths! In this case 'bad' clearly means inconvenient for their parents."
In conclusion, maybe two can play this game.
"Next time your daughter has a tantrum, tell mil it must be her genes."
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