Each and every one of us has known anger, hurt, or disappointment at the words or actions of another. Those feelings can be a crippling hindrance and can ripple their way through other areas of our lives, affecting our relationships with others.
And the emotional and physiological power of forgiveness cannot be stressed enough. As Dr. Randy Kamen points out at the Huffington Post, forgiveness has been proven to lead to lower heart rate, blood pressure, and improving sleep. "In the psychological domain," she writes, "forgiveness has been shown to diminish the experience of stress and inner conflict while simultaneously restoring positive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors."
In her book Emotional Freedom, bestselling author, psychiatrist, and intuitive healer Judith Orloff suggests a number of guiding principles to help move beyond bitterness and toward forgiveness:
- Identify one person you’re angry with.
- Honestly address your feelings.
- Begin to forgive.
“Forgiveness is a paradigm-shifting solution for transforming anger,” she writes at Psychology Today. “It liberates you from the trap of endless revenge so that you can experience more joy and connection. Forgiveness does more for you than anyone else because it liberates you from negativity and lets you move forward. Forgiving might not make anger totally dissolve but it will give you the freedom of knowing you are so much more.”
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1. The strength of forgiveness
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ― Mahatma Gandhi, All Men are Brothers: Autobiographical Reflections
(h/t: GoodReads)
2. Self-forgiveness
“Few suffer more than those who refuse to forgive themselves.” ― Mike Norton, Fighting For Redemption
(h/t: GoodReads)
3. Forgiveness as a form of wisdom
"The wisdom of forgiving : It does not mean giving people the license to hurt you over and over again. It is simply an act of releasing the pain others may have caused and remembering never to let them take away your PEACE again." — Dodinsky
(h/t: Positive Outlooks Blog)
4. Forgiveness as personal transformation
"Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving someone’s offense or betrayal. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim–letting go of the pain and transforming oneself from victim to survivor." ― C.R. Strahan
(h/t: Positive Outlooks Blog)
5. Forgiveness for new beginnings
"Because forgiveness is like this: a room can be dank because you have closed the windows, you’ve closed the curtains. But the sun is shining outside, and the air is fresh outside. In order to get that fresh air, you have to get up and open the window and draw the curtains apart." — Desmond Tutu
(h/t: Positive Outlooks Blog)
6. Forgiveness as a learning process
"True forgiveness is when you can say, Thank you for that experience.'" ― Oprah Winfrey
(h/t: GoodReads)
7. Forgiveness as a means of growth
"Forgiving isn’t something you do for someone else. It’s something you do for yourself. It’s saying, 'You’re not important enough to have a stranglehold on me.' It’s saying, 'You don’t get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future. I’m moving on to peace and happiness.' " — Jodi Picoult
(h/t: Positive Outlooks Blog)
