Stepparents play an important role in the lives of the children they are helping raise, but many will tell you that when it comes down to it, they don't take the place of a parent. One stepmom recently shared on Reddit that her young stepdaughter called her "mom" — and it didn't go over well.
She explains, "I (42 f) met my husband (44 m) 6 years ago and we have been married for 2 years. He has a daughter (7 f) from a previous marriage that didn’t end well after his ex cheated on him. His daughter rarely ever sees her mom as she constantly travels the world."
She spends a lot of time with the little girl.
"I feel awful that his daughter hasn’t had a good mother figure in her life so I have been trying my best to take her out to do girly things and bond with her sine her mother isn’t around to do so," the original poster (OP) shares. "She always would call me by my first name but for the first time when we were sitting at the table for dinner she called me mom and it just didn’t feel right it made me feel uncomfortable."
But she doesn't want to be called 'mom.'
"I told her that 'I’m sorry but I’m not your mother you can’t call me that sweety' and she was shocked and started to tear up a bit. My husband and I were arguing all night telling me that what I did was awful, he told me that she feels comfortable and close enough to me to call me mom and I should feel special for her calling me mom. He doesn’t want to see how I feel from my side."
Now everything is pretty awkward.
"Her mother is still very much alive and I don’t want to disrespect her by taking her title as mom," OP continues. "It all feels very awkward as I’m used to her calling me by my name. Life was moving so smoothly until she had to call me mom."
Some people think the stepmother is being way too harsh.
The top commenter wrote, "She probably had to work up the courage to go through with it, fearing your rejection. And you made her worst fears come true."
But some are on her side.
Another commenter couldn't believe how many people were against the stepmom. They wrote, "If she doesn’t want to be called ‘mom’ then that’s the only thing that matters. Jeez, if it was the other way around and OP wanted to be called mom but the kid refused, the tone shift would be immense."
Others have been in similar positions.
A third person added to the conversation, "I raised my nephew from a young age. Yes it was startling and uncomfortable the first time he called me mom but I pushed past it. I was fulfilling his need for a mom and doing all the motherly things for him after all. He wanted to call me mom and that meant the world to me. So I got used to it. After the initial discomfort I came to love it."
