If you're like me, you like JOKES. I'm not talking about silly knock-knock jokes, I'm talking about long-form funnies with a punchline that makes you so hard your sides hurt. This kind of classic humor is pretty hard to come by, so we put together a few for your enjoyment.
The following joke combines three of my favorite elements: a set-up, a punchline, and a real reason to share it with your friends – especially if you know anyone who's had similar difficulties with their husband.
But, seriously, what would you do if you saw YOUR kid in an expensive Porsche? Wait'll you see how his parents reacted – and wait'll you find out how the kid came to own a car that costs more than most people make in two years! HAH!
So, a 16-year-old boy who works part-time at Applebees pulls into his parent's driveway in a Porsche....
Naturally, his mom and dad know that there's no way he earned enough with his after-school job to own such a car.
“Where did you get that car?" his mom and dad scream in unison.
He calmly tells them, “I bought it today.”
“With what money?” his mom demands. “We know what a Porsche costs.”
“Well,” says the boy, “This one cost me fifteen dollars.”
At this point, naturally, the parents start yelling even louder.
“Who on earth would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?!”
“The lady up the street,” the boy replies, shrugging.
"I don’t know her name–she just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.”
“Oh my gosh,” the mom moans. “She must be some sort of child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what’s going on.”
The boy’s father and mother rush over to their new neighbor's house, ready to break down her door and demand an explanation. Curiously, their new neighbor is calmly planting petunias.
"I'm the father of the kid you just sold a sports car to for $15," the dad says. "I need an explanation from you – ASAP!"
“Well,” the neighbor says, not looking up from her garden. “This morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but it seems he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and doesn’t intend to come back.”
"What on earth does that have to do with selling our son a Porsche for $15?" The boy's mom asks – utterly perplexed.
The new neighbor smiles, and pauses for a minute.
“Well, my husband asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did.”
HAH! Please SHARE this amazing joke with all of your friends, and read on for more laughs.
Have you heard the one about Grandma's perfume??
A haggard old lady of 89-years-old was riding in a fancy hotel’s elevator. On the second floor, a young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She smoothes down the skirt of her hot pink dress, looks down at the old lady, raises her nose snootily, and arrogantly says:
“Georgio Armani, $150 an ounce.”
Just as she speaks, the elevator opens and a glamorous former supermodel, age 45 steps on. She’s draped in a mink stole and wears tall leather boots from Italy. She hears what the younger woman has said to the haggard old lady and flips her hair:
“Chanel, $200 an ounce.”
The old lady’s floor approaches and as the doors open, but right before, she stops and turns around, making eye-contact with the two snotty women. Then she promptly bends over, farts and says:
“Broccoli, 49 cents a pound.”
Please SHARE these silly jokes with all of your friends!!
