Every year, Neiman Marcus unveils a special catalog, their Christmas Book, featuring a slew of amazing — and super expensive — holiday gifts. In an annual attempt to add a bit of flare, the retailer also includes a list of Fantasy Gifts: packages so extravagant that most of us could only dream of affording them. Or if we did decide to try to afford them, we could only dream of ever having money left to retire.
For their 88th edition, Neiman Marcus is offer up ten different Fantasy Gifts on their website. But why stop there? They have plenty of more insanely pricey stuff in the rest of their collection as well.
We've compiled a list of 15 of the most absurd gifts the company offers. We've also suggested some smarter ways to spend you hard-earned cash…
1. The House of Creed Bespoke Fragrance Journey ($475,000)
What exactly is a "bespoke fragrance journey"? It's when you're given two first class tickets to Paris to meet with a six-generation master perfumer (yup, that's a thing) who will create your ultimate custom scent. Cheaper option: There are so many Sephoras you can probably walk to one. They have plenty of options — or just mix a few together.
2. Vanity Fair Academy Awards Experience ($425,000)
This pricey package affords you entry to Vanity Fair's Oscar party, as well as plenty of pre-party pampering. Cheaper option: For $450,000, you could probably finance an Academy Award wining short film and end up with an actual Oscar on your shelf.
3. The Slot Mods USA Ultimate Slot Car Raceway ($300,000)
Get a handcraft 1:32 scale model of your favorite race track. Because of course you have a favorite race track. Includes "white glove installation." Finding the space in your house to install it is up to you. Cheaper option: Maybe buy your loved one a slot car starter set to see if this is really a hobby worth $300,000.
4. Ultimate Mardi Gras Experience for Six Couples ($125,000)
You and five other couples receive luxurious accommodations in the heart of the French Quarter, with all sorts of fine dining and cultural experiences to boot. Your trip culminates at the black-tie Orpheus Ball. Cheaper option: Buy all your friends the gift of about $100 worth of hurricanes cocktails. They won't care WHAT their accommodations are.
5. Custom Locket and Trip with Monica Rich Kosann ($100,000)
Travel to Germany with jeweler Monica Rich Kosann to select the stone necessary to make your own custom locket. Cheaper option: Whatever happened to appreciating a good ol' macaroni necklace?
6. 100th Anniversary Neiman Marcus Limited-Edition Maserati Ghibli S Q4 ($95,000)
If you need a description to know what a Maserati is, you probably shouldn't be considering buying a Maserati. Cheaper option: Yeah, pretty much any other car is cheaper. Just go with one of those.
7) Preston Bailey Peacock Floral Sculptures ($25,000)
Event planner to the stars Preston Bailey will create a "glorious" peacock statue with plant and floral flairs to add to your garden. Cheaper option: Pink flamingos are coming back into style; I can feel it.
8. Leontine Linens Home Trousseau ($55,000)
Jane Scott Hodges will come to your house and help you select bed, bath, and table linens for every room in your house — "from the master bedroom to the pool house." Make sure your pool house is done being built before she arrives. Cheaper option: For under $55,000, most of us could buy a new set of sheets for every day of the year. Never doing laundry: now that's luxury!
9. His & Hers Vilebrequin Quadski ($50,000)
The Quadski is a "jet ski meets SUV." They've been "hailed as the world's best high-speed amphibians." And to think you've been riding around on lower-speed amphibians! Cheaper option: Get a paddle boat. No need for a his & hers: you both get to paddle together!
10. Tanqueray No. Ten Imperial Shaker by Jason Crawley ($35,000)
This five foot tall tall drink mixer based on a design from 1803 comes with a one-year supply of Tanqueray gin (not to exceed four cases. Boo!) Cheaper option: Give the gift of a shaker and the lesson of how rewarding it is to do things yourself.
11. Waterford Crystal London Desktop Bar ($17,500)
The first item that isn't one of Neiman Marcus's fantasy gifts, a $17,500 Waterford Crystal desktop bar is till pretty fantastic. Cheaper option: Get a mini-fridge. It'll actually keep your drinks cold!
12. Lalique Golden Eagle Sculpture ($8,500)
Um, golden eagle sculpture. What more needs to be said… besides the fact that it's over a foot tall and made entirely from lead crystal. Cheaper option: Is Flappy Bird back in the App Store? That bird was awesome, and he was FREE!
13. Judith Leiber Couture Crystal Beatnik Cat Minaudiere $5,595
It's a clutch bag, fully beaded in Australian crystals to LOOK LIKE A CAT WEARING SUNGLASSES. This could be the only thing on the list actually worth the money. Cheaper option: Really, there is no substitute.
14. Star Wars Gold Darth Vader and Yoda Cufflinks ($4,200)
For your favorite Star Wars fan, what could be better than 14-karat yellow gold cufflinks that have either Darth Vader or Yoda on one side and Galactic Empire or Rebel Alliance symbol? Cheaper option: Chop the heads of some action figures. Paint them gold. Put them in that drawer with the rest of the cufflinks you never wear.
15. Multi-Game Set ($1,500)
For the man that has everything, except, you know, poker chips and a deck of cards, Neiman Marcus is offering a $1,500 mini-casino set. Cheaper option: Monopoly! No one ever gets sick of Monopoly!
