Have you ever been on an internet date that went terribly wrong? Well, it's probably nothing compared to Liam Smyth's Tinder date that ended in a rogue poop, a call to the fire department, and a broken window.
The night started off like any other. After dinner at Nandos, an international fast food chain, Liam and his date "repaired back to my house for a bottle of wine and a Scientology documentary."
Everything seemed to be going well, but about an hour into hanging out on the couch, Liam's date approached him "with a panicked look in her eye."
"'I went for a poo in your toilet,' she told me, 'and it would not flush. I don't know why I did this, but I panicked. I reached into the toilet bowl, wrapped it in tissue paper, and threw it out of the window.'"
While there's no way to know for sure if Liam's story is 100% true, it certainly is a funny one worth sharing either way. And according to the BBC, Avon Fire and Rescue did confirm freeing a woman trapped between two windows.
Scroll down to see what happened next, and don't forget to SHARE this hilarious story with your family and friends!
Now, being that animals poop outside all the time, it wouldn't usually be a problem that Liam's date threw her poop out the window, but Liam's window is different.
Instead of opening up to the outside, the window in Liam's apartment opens into "a narrow gap of about a foot and a half, separated from the outside world by another (non-opening) double-glazed window." In other words, anything thrown out the window would be trapped in there.
Liam's natural response was to find a hammer and chisel to smash the window open and retrieve the poop, but his date, an "amateur gymnast," wanted to try to fit through the crack and retrieve the poop without breaking the window.
"She climbed in headfirst after her own turd, reached deeper into the window, bagged it up, and passed it out, over the top and back into the toilet from whence it came," said Liam. "She called out to me to help her climb out from the window. I grabbed her waist and I pulled — but she was stuck."
Though the poop was successfully back in the toilet, there was now something much bigger wedged in between the windows — Liam's date.
After about 15 minutes of trying to get his date out of the window, Liam decided to call the experts, and the fire department came and did what they were trying to avoid all along: broke the window.
"Although they rescued my date unharmed from what must have been a rather unpleasant confined space to find yourself in, in the process they had to completely destroy the window with their special fire tools," said Liam.
Though Liam was surprisingly relaxed about the whole situation, the damage has still set him back about $360.
The postgraduate student has created a GoFundMe page where you can donate to his window repairs and read his hilarious story in all its glorious detail.
Thanks to the media attention, the GoFundMe has already reached its goal, and several contributors have expressed their high hopes for the couple in the comments section.
"You two better end up married now," one comment reads. "Anything less would be a disappointment."
Other commenters were less interested in the long term and more interested in ensuring that their relationship work in the short term.
"Did you get a second date?" another commenter asked.
Whether or not Liam got a second date is to be determined, but we do know that his window will now be restored to its former glory, thanks to the success of his GoFundMe.
As for the excess donations, Liam notes that they will "be split 50/50 between two charities," Toilet Twinning and a charity that supports firefighters.
I guess the situation wasn't all bad — and it certainly provided a good laugh!
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