Weddings have a way of bringing out the best, and sometimes the worst, in most of us. Unfortunately, that can mean family members and friends can cause a lot of heartache and drama at a wedding, just because they have the power to do so.
In 2021, a 22-year-old woman asked Reddit about a situation that happened at her wedding a few weeks ago. From what it sounds like, her mother not only acted out, but she unleashed a barrage of ableism at the woman's now husband.
The woman began by giving a little background information about herself:
"I'm a 22 year old female and I got married to my husband 2 weeks ago. He's my soulmate. I found him. Finally! After years of suffering between my dad's death and mom's marriage and having little support. He came along. He's so amazing, so compassionate, sweet and smart."
People don't take her relationship seriously because her husband is disabled.
Then she dove right in to a common problem she and her husband face: People think their relationship is a joke because he's disabled and requires the use of a wheelchair.
"He's in a wheelchair which isn't an issue but I got negative remarks from people questioning the seriousness of our relationship," she said. "'Oh you're too young that's probably not real love' or 'you've only known him for [barely] 2 years' or 'are you sure you're willing to live like this for the next at least 10y?'"
They had help from their family for the wedding.
She said that the pair had financial help from both families for the wedding, and they decided to keep it small to make that easier:
"We decided to have a small wedding. Our parents helped with money. My mom invited my stepdad's family and stressed a lot about issues."
Her husband said he had a surprise.
"My husband said he had a surprise for our wedding. I was keeping my eyes shut then I opened them I saw that he Made a tree swing. With chains and a tire. He was sitting in it with his feet slightly off the ground and had straps on his shoulders. Saying he wanted us to have the perfect dance together. I was in shock he told me he probably looked funny but he wanted to dance with me. My sight level met his it was like we were standing face to face."
The woman's mom completely lost it.
Her husband's best friend and sister helped him with the swing, but her mom and stepbrother had ableist reactions when the couple started dancing:
"He and his friend who's the best man and little sister arranged for this. Everyone was reacting to this but mom and stepdad were upset. When we started dancing My mom yelled at me to stop, saying we were embarrassing her infront of her guests. My stepbrother started laughing while mom screamed at me to stop."
The woman asked her mom and stepfather to leave.
One thing led to another, and the woman asked her mother and stepfather to leave after they wouldn't stop:
"I immediately got into an argument with her. Told her she was being mean and cruel instead of being happy for me. I told her to stop or leave, she lashed out calling my wedding a joke. I told her to leave. My stepdad defended her and said that my husband and I were being inappropriate. I insisted they both leave. Mom left after that."
Her mom's family thinks she overreacted.
"My stepdad berated me saying I should be ashamed my mom supported me and paid money. My aunt wanted me to apologize but I wanted to focus on me and my husband despite the family leaving and calling me disrespectful."
Her husband felt bad, too.
Her husband also said he felt bad for making the swing, but she told him he shouldn't:
"My husband felt guilty then and said it was a bad idea but I assured him it was me who escalated by kicking my mom out and everyone's been berating me for acting immature and mean towards mom saying they were being disrespected and humiliated."
The woman wants to know who was wrong.
The woman asked Reddit what they think: Did she overreact?
Plenty of people pointed out the obvious: Her mother and stepfather acted in a way that is extremely ableist and bigoted.
"What he did was beautiful and heartfelt and I bet you both looked fantastic dancing together," one commenter said. "Your family are ableist."
Luckily, she has her new family to help her out.
Others pointed out that her husband's family sounds amazing, and hopefully they'll be a great addition to the woman's life. As one person noted:
"It sounds so lovely and sweet, I can’t imagine anyone feeling embarrassed or upset about it! It sounds like the husbands family is very nice though, I hope the bride truly feels like a member of their family and they have a long life together."
Ultimately, the wedding should be about the bride and groom.
"You didn't embarrass your mother; her horrible behavior took care of that," said a commenter. "At a wedding, everything is about the bride and groom and supporting their lives together. If a guest can't do that, like your mother and step father, then they shouldn't be there."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
