Weddings have a way of bringing out the best and the worst in most of us, don't they? It definitely seems like you can plan the day down to the tiniest detail, yet more often than not, something will go wrong somewhere. For example, one bride is angry about how her parents and her sister behaved at her wedding. She shared the details with Reddit.
It turns out that her sister is pregnant … and she decided to tell their parents on the day before the wedding.
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"I got married last weekend and have been waiting to post this in case my feelings subsided but I'm still pretty upset," the bride began.
“Last Friday at my rehearsal dinner, which wasn’t even really a rehearsal dinner, just my family and my in-laws getting dinner together after pre-wedding preparation (girls getting their nails done, men getting beards trimmed and haircuts, etc) my sister asked my parents to go outside with her and apparently told them she was pregnant and planned on getting an abortion.”
That's already a lot, right from the jump! On one hand, it's easy to understand that the bride's sister probably saw her parents and just couldn't keep herself from telling them … but on the other, it was right before her sister's wedding day. Making that kind of announcement was bound to distract the three from the purpose of the day, and it sounds like that's exactly what happened.
"I could tell they were noticeably upset when they came back," the bride continued, "but that was common after conversations with my sister, because she was a little bit of a wild card."
So at first, it didn't seem like anything too big was going on. But then her family became very distant, and her dad even missed a major moment at the reception that can't be done again.
"The following day, my wedding day my mom and sister were very distant and whispering to each other throughout my getting ready, and also spent most of my reception doing the same thing, just this time with my dad. My father missed our father-daughter dance and none of my family made a toast or any sort of acknowledgment really that I had gotten married."
Somehow, the woman was able to keep her cool until the end of the wedding: "I waited until the end of the reception and asked them what was up? My sister told me she was pregnant and getting an abortion on the 20th."
The fact that her sister decided to tell everyone this at her wedding definitely upset the bride: "I responded negatively, and got angry that she told our parents this at my wedding, and then got angry at my parents for ignoring me my whole wedding, missing our dance and not getting any photos together. I got my husband and we left, and I got calls and texts saying I was being incredibly selfish and that my sister needed their support."
She also clarified that she wasn't upset with her sister's choice, just how and when she decided to share it: "I am pro-choice and 100% support her. I am upset over her choice to tell our family at my wedding. Not upset over her making a decision for her own body."
She also clarified that she's not really mad at her sister as much as she's upset and hurt by the actions of her parents: "I am more upset at my parents, and I'm sorry I worded it to make it seem like I was putting all the blame on my sister. I am not. My parents are the ones who chose to completely ignore me."
A lot of people pointed out that there's no reason the sister couldn't have waited until the next day, and also that the parents are missing a huge point: Supporting your children means supporting them in the hard times and the ones worth celebrating — like a wedding.
One parent wrote, "The thing these parents are missing is that support means being there for the celebrations as well as for the trials. Support means showing up. They failed the OP [original poster] utterly and completely.
“I’m a parent with two kids and I have no doubt that they could have assured the pregnant daughter that they would be there for her and still have been present for the entire wedding and reception. These parents owe the OP and her husband an apology. Why would you need to miss a reception for one daughter in able to support the other.”
Another person echoed the idea that the woman's sister really, really could have waited: "I could say they're gaslighting you for being insensitive. That could be true. The real issue here is your sister's awful timing. She could have waited two days, seriously. Instead, it sabotaged your wedding. She probably didn't have the foresight to realize this would happen and your parents suck for not showing up for you. The day was about values processing vs your celebration of love."
The woman also joined the conversation to say that she hasn't spoken to her sister since the wedding: "I haven't spoken to her, so I'm not sure why she felt my wedding was the time to discuss anything. I was not involved in any conversation except me asking them why they ignored me my whole wedding and then telling me she was getting an abortion at the previously mentioned date. I know literally no other details because I wasn't part of any conversation."
Another person pointed out that generally it's understood no major announcements should happen at someone else's wedding: "Major rule about weddings: no big announcements/news/anything that'll take attention away from the couple. You don't propose, announce an engagement, announce a pregnancy, announce an abortion, etc. at someone else's wedding. Even if they give you permission."
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