Dad-To-Be Is Devastated When Close Friend Steals His Very Personal Baby Name

The dad begins by explaining that he and his sister were really close.

"I lost my sister almost 9 years ago. She was my only sibling and my best friend. I looked up to her and really loved her. Needless to say we were very close. I was 17 when she passed away."

He asked his wife if she was OK naming their daughter after his sister.

He explained: "Now fast forward 9 years later, I am 26 almost 27, married and soon to be father of a beautiful baby girl. When we found out we were having a girl, I asked my wife what she thought about naming our daughter after my late sister. She was on board. We also picked out a middle name that meant a lot to my wife's family. So ofc we were all happy."

The dad recently jumped on a video chat with his friends and told them all about the name.

"A couple days later, me and my friends were on a casual zoom call and someone asked what we were naming her, and I mentioned the name thing as well as how much both names meant to us. Everyone was happy and that was that or so I thought. Well a couple days later one of the friends on the zoom call announced that his girlfriend was 7 months pregnant. none of us had any idea but were happy for him nonetheless. Now you can probably guess where this is going."

The man says his girlfriend just loves the name … so they want to use it.

"I am going to keep this short, apparently that night he was just telling her how everything went and he mentioned my daughter's name and his gf just loved it so much that 'she just couldn't even picture a different name'. [they were keeping the gender a surprise and weren't settled on a name]. He thought she would change her mind by the time the baby was born and well she didn't. they copied not only the first name but also the middle name. I was livid when I first found out. I went over to his house to talk about it."

To make things worse, the kids will probably grow up around each other, which means they'll have the same name in a really obvious, and kind of weird, way.

"well his parents who know me since college, were there too and asked me what was wrong when saw us arguing from the window. I told them everything and they were upset [too], enough to give a good lecture to both my friend and his gf. Another thing to note is that i made it clear as day that me and my wife will not be changing our kid's name. Both the kids will probably go to the same school."

Now the friend's daughter already has the name, but the man doesn't want to budge.

"Now, a few of my friends and him and his gf are blowing up mine and my wife's phone calling us inconsiderate for telling his parents and not even thinking about a name change since it is 'technically theirs now'. I do feel like it will make it a little difficult for both the girls to have the same name and the same middle name since both names aren't super common, not to mention they will most likely be in the same grade."

People have weighed in with a hard no. They also think there's no way the two men can still be friends.

"I'm glad you handled this all right now, so they can't spin the story later. I'd go further and announce it on Facebook and mention the significance of the names, so they look as bad as they are when they announce the stolen names. I'd also make it very clear to your friend that you can't own a name, but stealing the name of your dead sister is going to change the way you look at him forever, so he should make his decision knowing that."

They also think the man should go ahead and come up with explanations for the inevitable questions that will follow both girls throughout their lives.

Here's one: "How about 'Our daughter was named for important members of our family, and their daughter was named for our daughter.' Throw in 'back when we used to be friends' for some extra zing."

Also, what exactly will the friend and his girlfriend tell their child?

"When the kid asks 'how did I get my name' it’ll be 'oh, we stole it from our friend during a Zoom call. You’re named after his sister whom we’ve never met.'"

In the end, it seems how you feel about the situation is likely related to how you feel about the idea of baby names being able to be "stolen" in the first place.

"I’m always surprised when I see these types of threads that there’ll be people saying 'no-one owns a name'. That is completely true of course, and in some circumstances it’s no biggie. I had two co-workers each have sons once and decide to call their kids Thomas, and no-one batted an eyelid over it. But whenever someone says 'I’m going to call my baby this, it’s a meaningful name to me because it was the name of a close relative who died', and there’s a friend who says 'oh I’m going to call my baby that now, and btw I insist that you can’t use the name that had so much meaning to you because I’m using it first now, ner ner', the name-stealer is not a good friend in any universe."