This time last year was disorienting for all of us, and that's especially true for parents of school-age kids. There were a lot of conversations about virtual schooling, hybrid schooling, and the impossibility of physically being in a classroom.
Many of us thought there was no way we would be having those same conversations again a year later, yet here we are anyway. The difference is now our kids have been spending a lot of their time out of school, and many of them are being required to be in person no matter what.
Here are a few ideas for helping kids deal with the anxiety of going back to school this year, and for keeping the focus on the positive and light.
Listen First
As parents, it can be so tempting to begin conversations with our children by telling them what they should think or feel. I catch myself doing this all the time, especially if I'm worried my son is upset or anxious about a situation.
For example, instead of sitting your kids down and saying, "I'm sure you're feeling a little nervous about starting school this year," try asking, "How do you feel about going back to school this year?"
It might feel tiny, but this gives you the opportunity to listen first, and it empowers your child to steer the conversation toward what they are actually concerned about.
Know What Their School Is and Isn't Requiring
Without one consistent set of guidelines, schools across the US are kind of making it up as they go. Some districts are requiring masks; others are not. Some districts are requiring all teachers to be vaccinated, but others aren't.
The fact that each district is making its own rules can feel super overwhelming, but the reality is, right now you just need to focus on the rules your kids need to know. Make sure you know all the guidelines and expectations before you have a conversation with your kid about them, so you can answer any questions that come up.
Point Out the Positive, but Don't Go Overboard
Even though there are a lot of unknowns and plenty to worry about when kids go back to school, there are still a lot of positive aspects as well. If your kids are social, they're probably pretty excited about being around their classmates again. Kids who like routine are probably going to be more centered and grounded, and kids who have felt isolated by the last year are likely pretty pumped about what's ahead.
If your children are expressing their fears and nerves about going back to school, also make sure you bring up some of the positive aspects, too.
Remember That Regular Back-to-School Anxiety Is a Thing
Even in the pre-virus times, back-to-school anxiety was alive and thriving. Sometimes kids who love going to school can still get worked up about returning, and kids who don't like school as much definitely might do everything they can to avoid going back again.
There are a lot of ways you can help your child through back-to-school anxiety, with or without the virus.
1. Make the Day Special in Some Way
Ask your child if there is something small you can do to make their day a little easier. Suggestions: Pick out a special snack, write a note each day and make sure it's in their lunch, or walk with your child as far as they want you to go. Of course, some of these suggestions might not work for older kids, but you might be surprised by what will.
2. Talk About What Is Fun at School
Unless you know that every single thing your child experiences at school is just flat-out challenging and awful, there is probably something that they like. Make sure that you know what that is, and that you and your child have conversations about it.
3. Reach Out to Your Child's School If That Will Help
Sometimes, it can help your child if they know that their teacher understands. This might be especially true this year, since students aren't the only ones who are worried about going back to school. Teachers get it! If your child is dealing with some back-to-school anxiety, mention it.
4. Know That You Set the Tone
Here's the thing: For a lot of kids, their parents or caregivers are the ones who set the tone about nearly everything. If you are a big ball of anxiety about your kids going back to school and they know it, they'll probably be a big ball of anxiety, too. If you are taking a measured, informed approach that emphasizes gathering information and making calculated decisions, your kids will, too.
Right now, kids of all ages need to know their parents have their backs. So it's up to each of us to do everything we can to make sure that's true.
