It's almost Christmas, and you know all too well what that means. Traditionally, it means it's time to freak out. Shopping, cooking, cleaning, making lists, and getting angry over nothing (or how stressed out you are, because holidays) commence! While all our kids really want is us, it seems like this super-busy time of year means that we scarcely have the time to even see, hug, or hang out with our kiddos.
It's a sad but true situation. And no matter what we do to slow down, calm down, and avoid the meltdowns, it happens. This year, we're all pretty much more stressed than we've literally ever been in our lives. So the freak-outs might be aplenty.
But not so fast. We still have a couple weeks to prepare. And maybe this year is actually the perfect time to slow down. After all, we're supposed to be cooling our heels for a bit longer as we await the end of the health crisis and a throwback to normalcy. While we're still hanging out at home, maybe this year we can actually just revel in the quiet times and ditch the holiday hustle and bustle.
Slowing down during the holidays is easier said than done. There is simply just so much to do. Between child rearing, working, and maintaining a home, we're busy just about all the time. The holidays mean you're working overtime pretty much always … until it's all over. In some cases, that means we end up looking forward to the holidays being over. But that's no way to live!
But seriously, stress can totally ruin our holidays. And not just ours — our kids' holidays, too! And that's really not fair. While we're busy trying to make everything perfect, we're actually, well, ruining everything.
We have to really work hard to keep ourselves in check. Because while, yes, we want things to be perfect, the truth is, the more we can actually chill out and relax, the more everyone around us can actually enjoy the holiday season. It might mean doing less — buying less, cleaning less, cooking less — but it's pretty worth it in the end. It also means you get to spend more time with your family. For kids, that's pretty much the best part of the whole season.
It's not easy to do. If you grew up with fond memories of picture-perfect holidays and parents who went all out, it can be hard, too. But we have to remember that we're living in a different time now. Everyone is stressed to the max and dealing with incredible burdens. Doing less is not only totally acceptable, it will also help everyone to feel more joyful.
If you don't know how to begin the slowdown, think about what really matters. There are definitely going to be some traditions that you don't want to part with, and that's totally OK. If going to cut down a tree is your favorite holiday tradition, by all means, do it up! But if you never get to stringing those extra holiday lights, if you forget the advent calendar, or if you royally screw up your great-grandmother's sugar cookie recipe, it's OK. Everyone will live with store-bought cookies. I promise. No, they won't be thinner than air or quite as delicious. But they'll still contain sugar, and therefore they won't be around for long anyway.
It's tough to part with holiday traditions. That's why this year is tough for everyone who is used to gathering. But it also makes room for low-key holidays, and honestly? That can be a gift in and of itself.
The holidays should be about being together, and even if that just means being together with the people inside your home, that's a blessing. So often, we're caught up in how much we have to do that we forget to just be. This year might be the perfect time to focus on that.
Of course, there are things we all look forward to. But you don't have to do everything to the extreme. You can give your kids a beautiful Christmas with just a handful of special gifts — and a whole bunch of family time. Pick the things they really want or need and don't feel the need to gift them everything their hearts desire.
You might not realize it right away, but de-stressing your holidays leads to a lot more fun overall. We don't always see how much our stress is impacting our kids. But the truth is, our tension does suck the joy out of the holidays. There's just no time to watch a movie, play a game, or hang out, chatting and eating the cookies we worked so hard on. Really, where's the fun in that?
This year, there's a lot of opportunity to feel stressed. But there is equal opportunity to let go of everything we don't need to do and instead focus on the things we want to do. It's honestly the perfect time to just do less, even if that means giving fewer presents, so we can actually tune in and be more present.
With any luck, next year we will be back to extreme holiday doing. But as we near the end of 2020, do yourself a favor: Sit back and just hang out with your kids. It's all they want, and truly, you deserve a break. Hang up your apron and take one.
