Borrowing money is a sticky subject for most families. Mixing business and family isn't always a productive pairing, and it's easy for feelings to get hurt and alter a relationship forever.
That can happen in romantic relationships, too, as one Redditor has learned. She shared the story of how her boyfriend of 10 years did something so bizarre that they're now questioning whether they can move past it.
In her post, the original poster (OP) explained that her partner drunkenly told his mom that he wanted to send her to Hawaii. The problem? He doesn't have a job and is being supported by OP. Then he took things further by involving OP's family in the unusual ordeal.
A woman found herself in such a strange situation with her partner of 10 years that she turned to Reddit for clarity:
"So background, I am from a large family my parents are middle class retired. My bf of 10 years, got drunk last night and promised his 90 yo mom that we would get her to Hawaii bc shes always wanted to go."
It's an unusual promise to make, but OP agreed to it anyway. "I'm cool with this, I agree to try to help figure it out with him and save so we can send her," she shared.
OP also pointed out that her being on board was significant: "Important note: I am currently the only one with any income, he makes no money but is opening a business."
What he did next is what truly threw OP for a loop:
"Upon hanging up with his own mom, he IMMEDIATELY calls my mother, non-stop, until she answers," she shared.
"Then says, '(mom), I need to send my mom to Hawaii bc it's her dream and we cant afford it, how can we make this happen?'"
Naturally, OP was completely floored.
"I shut it down right there I cannot BELIEVE he called my mom to ask for that kind of money without even discussing it with me first to see how I felt about the plan," she said.
"I would not have agreed to this."
"He became belligerent, called me every disgusting name under the sun, told me that I've disrespected his mom and I dont care about her and eventually told me we are breaking up," she shared.
"He continued screaming at me for the hour ride home and we slept separately last night. Usually he comes in, in the morning with an apology but today I woke up to him cussing and throwing [expletive] around the kitchen."
"When I asked if I could help him he responded no," she continued.
"I asked if hes still angry about last night and he said hes livid and doesn't want to talk."
OP couldn't understand what was going on, hence she took her concerns to Reddit.
"Am I missing something that I should be seeing? We called his mom at his insistence and I told her I wouldn't let him ask my mom for the money and she was fine with it, which pissed him off more," she noted.
A lot of people were concerned for OP's well-being.
As one commenter pointed out, she should not have been willing to help him at the point that he'd thrown such a spectacular tantrum.
"Why? Why would you ask him that? This guy is a manipulative abuser and you're too close to see it," the commenter wrote.
"That he would do this and then have the balls to get mad at you is next level. My eyebrows just about shot off my head when I read this post. You need to get rid of this guy. He is toxic."
Many suggested she take him up on his "decision" that they're broken up.
"Take his word for it, you are broken up. Kick him out of the house and/or run away as fast and as far as you can," another wrote.
"What's going to be next? He needs a car that you need to pay for? His mom needs to see Europe? Oh, and he cannot even make breakfast for himself?! He sounds like a catch … the name calling is the cherry on top, specially for such entitled and stupid reason."
After hearing so much advice that gave her similar insights, it seemed like OP realized what she had to do.
"I've been in therapy the last few months and had come to the conclusion that either I was a complete narcissist and pushing him, or that he is completely toxic for me and I need to figure out how to end things," she wrote.
"Given all of these responses I think I have my answer, now I have to untangle finances and figure out the lease situation. Thank you for your honesty."
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