It's really important to be clear about boundaries. A lot of conflicts, especially in families, result from people disrespecting one another's boundaries.
One man took to Reddit after getting involved in one such argument. It all started as a disagreement between his wife and his daughter-in-law, his son's wife who was pregnant with their first child. Everyone was very excited about a baby being added to the family, but the two women had their differences when it came down to the delivery.
The mom-to-be planned for just her and her husband to be in the delivery room. The original poster explains that despite their many objections and safeguards, his wife continued to insist she too would be there.
OP explains his wife had been resistant about not being invited into the delivery room from the beginning.
"My wife has been in constant contact with our daughter in law (our son's wife) about plenty of things," OP explained.
"Their very recent argument ensued after my wife kept insisting on being present in the delivery room despite getting a resounding 'NO'. My wife was having none of it."
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OP's son and wife had to change hospitals.
"My son and his wife changed hospitals to throw my wife off after she threatened to barge into the room," he revealed.
"She eventually found out (I didn't tell her) and got very mad. I told her to stop and think, because if she keeps this up she will lose all chances to see her grandbaby."
OP hoped his wife would take his advice, but she did not.
"She told me off and went to make a huge scene at the hospital my daughter-in-law was at," he continued.
"It did not end well and my wife came home crying hysterically after getting chewed out by our son and kicked out of the hospital."
OP was eventually invited to meet his grandchild, but his wife was not.
"Things remained tense til my son called to invute me to see the baby for the first time. He did not invite my wife which sent her into a mental breakdown," he explained.
"I had an argument with her after she tried to guilt me into staying with her and shame my son for keeping his mom away from her grandbaby, but I told her 'I told you so' and said that she had plenty of opportunities to get right with our daughter in law but she blew them away because of her stubborness."
OP's wife felt slighted by him for not taking her side.
OP's wife was none too happy with his attitude about the situation.
"She started yelling about how unsupportive and cruel I was, just like our son, to be siding against her instead of defending her and staying home with her when our son banned her from meeting her grandbaby. I went anyway and she kept arguing about me taking the wrong side instead of defending her."
OP wanted to know if he had handled things well, and commenters assured him he did.
"I think you dealt with this in exactly the right way. But your wife sounds a bit disturbed—at the very least, unable to get out of her own way—and she reaped what she sowed," one commenter noted before suggesting OP tell his wife to apologize to her son and daughter-in-law.
"You told her to stop, and she continued being a complete nightmare of a MIL. Everyone in the situation could see what was coming except your wife."
OP's comments in response to Redditors are even more illuminating.
When one commenter asked OP if his wife has always been so over the top, he said she hadn't been.
"She has gotten worse once our daughter in law came around. My wife is the overprotective type of mom if you will, and she's always making a huge deal over every little thing," he noted.
In another comment, he noted she felt that her son was too young to be married and start a family at 24 years old. Still, most people felt OP was handling things the best he could for everyone involved.
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