We'll never truly understand why some of life's events play out the way they do. Sometimes, in moments of great pain, we can find a reason to smile. Jennifer Anken has come to that place after the last year of her life placed her on an emotional roller coaster.
Jennifer had worked on becoming a mom for 15 years. In her first marriage, she was able to get pregnant but later miscarried. After her divorce, she met a man she was sure she loved and wanted a family with. The journey for Jennifer and her new love, Dave Anken, would be just as difficult.
After about two years of dating, Jennifer and Dave got engaged. Months later, they were shocked to learn she was pregnant. Their joy would turn to heartbreak once again just weeks later. Several people in Dave's life expressed concern for his unusual behavior. An MRI revealed the 47-year-old had terminal brain cancer.
The couple made the best of their situation. They were married on November 5, just five days before Dave died. If Jennifer facing the rest of her pregnancy while mourning wasn't hard enough, there was another bump in the road awaiting her. COVID-19 would change her birth plan and leave Jennifer to deliver on her own. She welcomed her little girl on April 24, with Dave's ashes by her side.
Jennifer Anken has shown an incredible amount of strength while walking an immeasurably difficult path. The 39-year-old Florida woman has had an emotional roller coaster of a year. It all led up to a moment Jennifer has been waiting for, as she welcomed her first child, a baby girl.
Jennifer started dating Dave Anken in 2017. The couple knew they both wanted to start a family but had no luck when they were trying.
"We did some testing … and found out I was fine. Everything was working well with me but he, unfortunately, was not producing anything that was helping us out," Jennifer explained.
In April 2019, Dave proposed. The couple was thrilled about their engagement and enjoyed a vacation together that summer. In September, they got the shocking news that Jennifer was pregnant.
"It was quite amazing," she recalls of the day they found out, which happened to be the day before Dave's birthday.
"We see the sonogram, but it was still surreal and exciting. Until the day he died, I really don't think he really thought I was pregnant. He was like, 'I won't believe it 'till I see her.'"
The weeks following saw celebration turn to concern. Jennifer said that Dave's coworkers all noticed changes in him. "He was late to work, which was not something he did. He dozed off, he was very irritable, he'd get lost, it was a mess," she recalls.
"In our house, it was pure hell, if you ask me. We were fighting all the time … it was almost like, looking back on it now, dealing with a 15-year-old personality-wise."
On October 25, Jennifer and Dave went to the hospital to get him checked out. An MRI revealed something on the front of Dave's brain. He was transferred to AdventHealth Orlando for additional tests, where doctors confirmed he had terminal brain cancer.
"I don’t think it actually hit me for a couple of days," Jennifer said of her own reaction. Things moved very quickly after the diagnosis. Dave was immediately admitted to the hospital and underwent surgery the next day.
"When we had our time alone, I would ask him, 'Do you know what's going on?' and he would say, 'Yeah, I have a tumor,'" she said. "He knew what was going on. I think he knew his body and knew the outcome, but he wouldn't tell me."
Dave was transferred to a rehab center. Jennifer could not make medical decisions for him because they were only engaged. With the help of the staff there, Jennifer and Dave got married on November 5.
"For them to go above and beyond and have a spot for us to do a wedding was very, very nice," she says.
"They got him out of the bed and got him sitting up and that was more than anybody could ever do for us that day."
Five days after their wedding, Dave died. "He was laying back [before a physical therapy session] and all of a sudden he started going into a seizure," Jennifer recalls.
"The whole time, all I could do was tell him it was okay and that I loved him. I was the last person he saw."
Jennifer was overcome by grief, but knew she had to be strong for the baby. That already difficult task became even more impossible as COVID-19 concerns began mounting just weeks before Jennifer's due date.
"My family was right there with me and kept me calm so that I didn't go crazy thinking about how I am going to do this on my own," she said.
Like so many other women, her birth plan was upended by changes to visitor policies. "I'm already going to have to raise this baby by myself, but now you're telling me I have to push her out on my own?" she recalled feeling.
"I was angry, like 'You've got to be kidding me,'" she continued. "Everything else is on my plate and now you're gonna throw this on there? I'm like, 'This a test of something!'"
Jennifer made it through, demonstrating incredible strength. She welcomed baby girl Davya, named after her daddy, on April 24. Dave's ashes were at Jennifer's side during the delivery. "He was there," Jennifer said of the birth.
"I had him there with little things I brought with me, and knowing that he was watching over us kept me calm."
"There's always the question, 'Why would God do this to somebody?' But then again, I see this miracle I have in my hands," Jennifer said of her experience.
"I think my husband's story was written a long time ago and it was just a matter of getting all the pages in line with me, for us to have this little person."
Little Davya is already reminding Jennifer of Dave in small but wonderful ways. Having a piece of him with her moving forward is comforting amid this unfathomable experience.
"I'm sure she'll have a personality like him too," says Jennifer. "I just have a feeling."
