Swimsuit season can be a trying time for many people, and moms are no exception to this rule. In addition to changes that come from aging, many moms experience physical changes as a result of carrying children and giving birth.
One young mom of two recently shared on Reddit that she was shopping online for a new swimsuit with her friend when the experience took a sudden negative turn.
She was shopping for both one-piece and two-piece suits when her friend spoke up.
"I have 2 young kids, and as you can imagine, stretch marks on my stomach, thighs, and breasts," she wrote. "I mean, nothing too crazy or severe, but I think, looking at me you can tell I've been pregnant. I have a mixture of one-piece bathing suits, and two-piece sets. That day, I happened to be looking at two-pieces."
Her friend seemed to think she shouldn't look at two-piece suits.
Apparently, her friend had an issue with this.
"My friend, who has a history of being oh-so-helpful-and-honest, asked me why I was looking for two-piece suits. I showed her the picture of the current suit I had loaded up on a website, a cute bikini set with high rise bottoms. I said I thought I'd look decent in it."
Her friend spoke up:
"But you have stretch marks all over, and you have the mom pouch. You should probably look for a one-piece to cover yourself up."
The woman felt defensive, but tried to stay calm.
The woman says she initially tried to stay calm during the exchange.
"My defenses went up, but I calmly replied, 'Okay well, imma go out on a limb and say most people have some form of stretch marks somewhere on their body, be it from pregnancy, sudden weight gain or loss, etc.'"
The friend is worried she won't look 'sexy.'
Then her friend commented that she's worried the mom won't look sexy if she wears a two-piece.
"Friend: 'But you won't look sexy at the beach when we go.'
"Me: 'I guess I'm not looking to be sexy? I'm married, I'm not there to pick up guys, I just want to tan my back and tummy at the beach.'"
Then the friend really got it twisted.
After that, the friend tried to use something the mom had previously said against her.
"Just because 'lots of people have stretch marks' doesn't make them pretty to look at, though. Isn't that what you said? That even if something is common or popular, it doesn't mean it's good."
The friend made a comparison between stretch marks and … Hitler?
"I knew exactly what she was quoting me on. Wanna know, redditors? Ages ago, a group of us were discussing politics and history and blah blah, and at one point in the conversation I said, 'Hitler won the popular vote. Just because he rose to power doesn't mean he was right.'
"Y'all, she made a comparison between Hitler and stretch marks being unsightly."
The mom said that they didn't have to go at all.
The mom was taken aback, and then decided to say that she didn't have to go to the beach in the first place.
"After a long pause, I said, 'I guess we won't be going to the beach together then, I wouldn't wanna subject you to my disgusting body.'
"She rolled her eyes at me and said, 'Ugh, don't take it to the extreme. I was just trying to be helpful. People will stare.'"
Now she wants to know if she overreacted.
The friend is refusing to apologize because she says she had good intentions the entire time, so the mom is confused: Who is in the wrong?
As always, the good people of Reddit had plenty to say.
Stretch marks happen.
People found it ridiculous that the friend thinks everyone will be staring.
"People will not be standing around staring at you," commented one person. "People have stretch marks, it happens. Those are not a visual affront to others."
Others noted that 'brutal honesty' is usually an excuse to just be mean.
"When people say they're brutally honest, or when the claim they have a dry/dark/sarcastic sense of humor, I take it as a red flag," wrote one Redditor. "It's just a social acceptable way of saying 'I'm going to say mean things to/about you and claim to be joking if you get upset'. These people often fall to pieces when they're the butt of the joke."
'Your job at the beach is not to be decorative.'
One commenter came in with truly amazing advice: "Your job at the beach is not to be decorative. Your job is to enjoy the beach. For her, part of that enjoyment is apparently being decorative in a way that she believes is pleasing to men (or women, if she's into them), but that's on her. You don't have to do it."
The mom came back in to say she feels good about herself.
Happily, the original poster chimed back in to note that she's pretty happy with herself.
"I'm okay with my body. I mean, sure it'd be cool if I could be a bit more toned and didn't indulge in that slice of cake the other day… but I'm not gonna hide myself away and wear a burlap sack in the confines of my house for the rest of my life."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
