Plenty of us struggle when it comes to building relationships with our in-laws. It can definitely be tough for numerous people who are all important in someone's life to come together and get along, and that can be compounded when a baby is in the picture.
One mom recently shared on Reddit that her mother-in-law — whom she already has a tricky relationship with — has overstepped in a major way when it comes to her new baby.
It all started while they were talking about godparents.
"Today MIL invited me to spend the day shopping with her (we've had a lot of ups and downs and I really thought this was her way of reaching out and we could start to rebuild the relationship)," the woman begins. "We sat at a coffee shop and barely ordered our drinks when she asked me who my baby's Godparents are and where would he be going if something were to happen to us."
Then things got weird.
"At first I thought she was just concerned and maybe a little nosey," the woman continues. "I politely told her that we have not made a final decision yet because there are a lot of things that need to be taken into consideration before we can make a final decision. Before I could finish my sentence she ambushed me with the topic of adopting my baby so that there will be 'less problems and procedures' the day that something happens to us."
The woman isn't sure why her mother-in-law was asking.
"I was basically too stunned to speak and sat there in silence for a while with my mind racing. Why is she so concerned? Hubby and I are both perfectly healthy and stable financially and physically so the chances of something happening to BOTH of us are very slim."
Her mother-in-law got really emotional.
"I thought by changing the topic she would eventually forget about it but the next thing I knew she burst into tears in the middle of the coffee shop asking why she isn't good enough to look after my baby and what she's done so wrong that we hadn't even asked her if she'd take care of him if something were to happen."
And she got mad at the woman's husband, too.
"I just told her it isn't any of her business, paid the bill without even drinking my coffee and left. I came home to Hubby being upset because MIL has been blowing up his phone and has been saying I denied her any and all rights to see my baby in the future and that she tried to reconcile with me but I'm just too much of a monster."
But now her husband is on her side.
"I left Hubby at home while I went grocery shopping so we both could cool down and when I got home I told him what really happened.
"He didn't really say much after I told him, but he's been ignoring MIL and now she wants to come have a family meeting at our house tonight. Hubby doesn't think it's a good idea but I on the other hand would love to put her in her place and let her know exactly where she stands when it comes to MY baby."
She's looking for advice, and people definitely have it.
One commenter had great advice. "Start a journal right away, including everything that has happened to date with your MIL. Include dates and times and as much detail as possible. Make a copy and put it in a safe place.
"Get your wills and plans in order ASAP. Make sure they're airtight. A good family planning attorney is worth their weight in gold in a situation like this to ensure that whatever plans you make, they can't be challenged in court later."
They also aren't into the family meeting.
Another was confused by the need for a meeting at all. "There's nothing to discuss, other than when will she be arranging to see a mental health expert for herself, and why did she lie to your husband? That's all that would be discussed with her. Not her insane plan to basically legally steal your child. Or anything else to do with your baby."
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