While it doesn't always feel like it, the reality is that our tweens and teens are very much still children, and they very much want to be included in what's going in their home. The problem is in the approach — and once you survive that stage, it's in the delivery, and then the execution.
In other words, tweens and teens can be hard, and it can be doubly hard to come up with activities and ways to play that aren't cringey (as my 12-year-old would put it). Here are a few ideas for engaging your older kids in play, whether they like it or not.
Find Apps and Games You Can Play Together
Maybe you're perfect and your tween or teen is never on screens, but mine is on them all the time, and I'm not taking them away from him. One way I hang out with my 12-year-old, especially when he's at his dad's house, is by playing video games together. We love connecting via online play* whenever we can. Our favorite game is Fortnite, mostly because I'm so bad it's comical, but there are lots of options out there that allow you to connect this way. If your home isn't as into animated technicolor digital violence (I, um, get it), this list of apps from Common Sense Media might fit the vibe.
*I had to ask my boyfriend if there is an official term for this. Insert CRINGE.
Turn Making Dinner Into Something Fun
While cooking a meal might not spring to the top of your mind when you think of ways to play with your tween or teen, there's no reason why doing something that has to be done can't be enjoyable. One idea: Let your tween or teen pick one night a week where they make dinner for the family, and the dinner can be something that's based on their interests. For example, if you have an anime fan in the house, maybe you're eating Japanese once a week. You can even cook the meal together and use the time to learn more about your big kid.
Set Up a Themed Party
While your tween or teen might not be ready for a full-scale home party (and let's face it — you might not either), you can help them set up a fun themed party for a handful of close friends. There are a lot of options out there: murder mystery night, a Roaring '20s dinner soiree, and more.
Binge a Show
Is bingeing a show playing? I don't really know, but I do know it can be lots and lots of fun, and it's probably not something you let your tween or teen do that often. Surprise them with a night of popcorn, snacks, and soda (or whatever you feel OK with), and settle in together for hours of their favorite show.
Get Out (But With No Destination in Mind)
You know what can be lots of fun? Spontaneously going for a walk or jumping in the car just to see where you might end up. Invite your tween or teen on a journey that just the two of you take and see what adventures you end up having.
