Woman Tells Stepson She Won’t Help Pay For His College And Advises: ‘Thems The Breaks’

"Will and I divorced fairly amicably when Catie was young, and have grown into strong coparents," the original poster (OP) says. "Will’s family comes from substantial money, so as part of the divorce we agreed that he would be responsible for the tuition and dorm bill for Catie’s college, and I would pay for the other miscellaneous living expenses."

"I have saved enough to pay for these expenses, but I know that if something were to happen to my savings, Will or his family would be able to foot the entire bill for Catie’s living expenses without any changes to his lifestyle."

"Will and I decided to sit Catie down and show her the whole picture of what college costs and what we will pay for," the woman explains. "Brian thought it would be a good idea to have a similar conversation with Nick even though he is only a junior."

"Unfortunately, the financial situation for Nick differs. Since his mother is not in the picture, it has been on Brian to save for Nick’s college. Brian was able to save and I have also contributed a bit, and he has about enough saved for a full associates degree or half bachelors degree at an in-state public school without living expenses."

"We didn’t openly discuss the specifics of the different finances with each child, but did broadly say that they had different opportunities due to situations outside of their control," she continues. "Nick has since surmised that his situation is very different from Catie’s and his choices will be much more impacted by finances than hers."

"Nick came to Brian and I very upset over the weekend. He said that It wasn’t fair that Catie got to go anywhere she wanted and he specifically was upset that Catie would not have to pay for her own room and board. He then asked that if Catie gets into a school with scholarships, if he could get the difference in tuition for his college. Or, he said that I should contribute the savings I had for Catie to his fund to try and make it more fair since Will could make up the difference easily. I kindly told him that no, I wouldn’t do that and that I’m really sorry that the situation. Then I told him that unfortunately, sometimes 'thems the breaks' in life and that we will do our best to make sure that whatever college he decides to go to that he can make the most of the opportunity even with loans."

One person wrote, "Your son is upset because he's staring down the barrel hole of a student debt shotgun. You could have empathized and sympathized with him and instead decided to take the heartless route. The world is cold enough, kids don't need the same attitude from their parents."

Not everyone is on the same page. As a second commenter wrote, "I don't get that at all. OP has contributed to her step sons college fund, though we don't know how much that is still better than most who come here. Then her step son wants to take what OP contributed to her daughter's fund? Kid needs a metaphorical slap in the face to jolt him out of entitlement mode. Life ain't fair, and just because someone has the ability to pay for someone else, doesn't mean they have to pay."