Burnt Out Dad Takes An Unusual Step To Carve Out Alone Time And His Wife Thinks It’s An Affair

"Usually she dumps them on me as soon as I walk through the door and takes off the rest of the night," he said. "I'm okay with that since I do feel like it's a fair tradeoff, but this also means that from the moment I come through the door until I go to bed I am on dad duty." While it's something he enjoys, he's also very capable of facing burnout.

Which is also likely what his wife is facing. Kids have a ton of energy, and it can be really hard to keep up. "This would not be a problem if I had a break between when I get off work and when I get home, but I don't," the Redditor added. "As soon as I can leave, I am running out the door of my office and rushing to gets errands done and supper picked up so I can get it home ASAP."

"The other byproduct of this is that I don't have time to eat until much later since the kids become my sole focus once I am in the door," he continued. "Usually it's only after the kids have gone to bed that I have time to eat, and by that time I am so tired that sometimes I just go to sleep." Missing dinner might happen with kids on occasion, but it can be quite problematic if it turns into a pattern.

At this point, you might assume that a conversation between the couple would be the best way to solve the issue. But the Redditor tried — and the wife wasn't happy about it. "I have mentioned this to my wife and asked for her to give me 10-15 minutes to eat once I got home and then I would happily take over for the rest of the night. That resulted in her chewing me out and telling me that she's exhausted and needs me to take over immediately so she can get a break."

The wife may seem a little heartless, but it's important to remember that she's likely under a lot of stress. Is the husband asking for much? Not at all. But she could be so stressed out over her situation that 10 to 15 minutes seems like a lifetime. Regardless, it's still tough for her to deny her husband a basic right.

Thus, he had to take matters into his own hands. "One night I decided to just park somewhere and eat. It worked out fine, so I started doing this most nights," he said. "I did slip up a little and go over the 10-15 minutes I had allotted, and that led to my wife getting suspicious and wondering why I was getting home later than I used to get home."

However, his frustrated wife began catching on. And she took it one step further by tracking his location. "Eventually she started checking my location and confronted me one day about my 'affair.' She was convinced that I was cheating on her, so I came clean and admitted what was really happening," he said.

"She still wasn't happy and thinks I am still the [expletive] for not telling her about what I was doing," he said. "I don't think it was the best idea, but part of me feels like she didn't give me much of a choice. I really don't think 10-15 minutes extra to eat is too much to ask considering she has the rest of the night off. I just find it hard to believe I am the [expletive]."

It seems as if the husband is fully aware of all the stress his wife is going through throughout the day, which is important to note. However, she needs to realize that he's also busy. Going to the office has a lot of benefits — like talking to other adults face-to-face, and being able to leave the house without car seats and a bag full of diapers and snacks.

But it's important for everyone to get breaks. Otherwise, our mental health may start to suffer. And being able to eat dinner is something he should be able to do. "My spouse and I both work, too," wrote Redditor SuspiciousClicks. "We do 50/50 duty outside of the home (both bringing in incomes) and inside of the home (caretaking). For us, this works thought it does require pretty consistent renegotiating depending on schedules. But we only settle on a plan of action that seems fair to both of us. If one of us were to stay home and then have nighttime duties shifted to only one partner, whew. Things wouldn't go well."

Neat-Green offered some advice as a stay-at-home mom. "Have you ever had kids under 5?" she wrote. "The wife is not getting hours of downtime. I don't sit down all day even when they nap. I have laundry or cooking to get done." That said, she felt as if 10 to 15 minutes wasn't a lot to ask for. And she might not have realized that his wife does get downtime during the night when her husband gets home. Meanwhile, her husband seemingly goes from one job to the next.

But one of the most popular suggestions was having a family meal together. Not only will it help connect the family, but it's a way to ensure everyone eats. "It didn't always go smoothly, but when my kids were little we did nightly family dinners (still do). Even now, when we babysit a friend's one-year-old, we strap her in a booster seat and take turns helping her eat," said bored-together. "Sure, many times my food got cold while holding a fussy baby, but my partner and I would take turns between infant and toddler so we could all have a family meal together."

It can be tough when schedules don't match up, but it's important for everyone in the family to work together so that they all feel fulfilled. It seems as if this husband and wife might need to work on some things to both feel satisfied with these arrangements. For one, they both need to acknowledge that they each put in a lot of time and effort all day.

By working as a team, these issues can be solved much easier. As stressed out as his wife is, she should still acknowledge his concerns. A hungry and tired dad doesn't work at his full capacity, and by taking care of himself, he'll be able to take better care of his three children.