Woman Blocks Her Entire Family After Cousin Gets Pregnant And Engaged To Her Ex-Boyfriend

She explains that she dated the same guy, Mark, from ages 13 to 25. They broke up because they wanted different things:

"From ages 13-25, I dated and was engaged to Mark(27m). My cousin knew him well. When I turned 25, Mark and I had a serious discussion about marriage and children and ended up breaking up. He had lied to me our entire adult relationship about wanting marriage and kids. It killed me. My cousin was there for me the entire time. You can probably see where this is going."

The woman doesn't explain if she wanted kids and marriage and Mark didn't, or if the issue was the other way around. But either way, when she found out her closest cousin was having a baby, she was thrilled … at first:

"A month ago, my cousin announced she was pregnant and engaged! I was excited for her until I went over for a celebratory family cookout and met her newly moved in fiance. Guess who it was? Yep, it was Mark. My world came crashing down and I just left. I didn't say anything, I just walked out. Family tried calling, my cousin tried calling and texting me but I didn't answer anyone."

The woman caved after a week and picked up her cousin's phone call:

"After about a week, I finally answered my cousin's call. She told me she needed me to be there for her and she knew it was weird, but he was going to be family and I should be happy for her. I told her I couldn't support any of this and to please not contact me again."

It's good that she's establishing a boundary for herself, but it seems like her family doesn't agree:

"I now have family telling me what's done is done and I need to get over it because cousin is getting married and having a baby, that I need to think of her and that this is an exciting time for the family. I told everyone to [expletive] off and if they support this, not to contact me again because family wouldn't do this to each other. They called me a [expletive] and told me it's been 2 years, that no one owns a man, and I needed to shape up because this is happening. I blocked all of them."

Now the woman wants to know if she's in the wrong at all here. As you might imagine, people on Reddit are pretty horrified by how this has played out.

"The ages that you guys were together particularly stood out to me, those are HUGE developmental ages, you grew up with this man until your brains were literally fully developed," one commenter said. "You were at one point convinced, for many years, he would be who you spent your life with and were content with him being your first and last. Only to have your cousin just two years later take that from your entirely. I truly cannot imagine."

Another person pointed out that even though this is her family, they clearly aren't supportive or healthy for the woman who posted:

"The fact that no one is aiding with you means you've surrounded yourself with the wrong kind of people. People who lack all empathy. I feel terrible for you! I'm so glad you blocked everyone, now go out and find people worth surrounding yourself with."

This is really an important point: A lot of therapists and psychologists have pointed out that it's more than OK to cut out toxic family members entirely. There are tons of toxic behaviors that are really hard to have in your life, and if family members insist on treating you badly, the only recourse you might have left is to just cut them off.

People also think it's beyond odd that the cousin and Mark decided to reveal their relationship status in such a public fashion. A commenter noted:

"They probably planned this big reveal in a public setting to manipulate the OP [original poster] into supporting their relationship/ not 'causing a scene'/ avoid the OP's backlash, if any."

Another person pointed out that the cousin can do whatever she wants, but the woman doesn't have to support it ever:

"Your cousin can marry whom she likes, but you don't have to be there for it. I'm sure it's tough on your family too but it's disappointing that they are all siding with her, after you were in a relationship with this guy for TWELVE YEARS including engagement."

Also … who the heck dates the serious ex-boyfriend of someone in their family?

"Exs of family, even of close friends are off the table when it comes to dating," said a commenter. "Your family wouldn't ask you to 'forgive and forget' if it was happening to them. Also she should have talked to you first to make sure you were okay with them as a couple before they started dating rather than spring this on you at her engagement party."

And finally, some people are a little creeped out by the fact that Mark is with the cousin, considering he's known her since she was very young.

"I'm very creeped out by Mark, who watched your cousin grow up and was probably a bit of an older brother figure to her," said a commenter. "The whole thing has a bit of a grooming energy that I think is off-putting and unhealthy for your cousin. She knew what she was doing was a betrayal because you only found out it was happening once she was already pregnant and engaged."