Relationships can be complicated enough for the two people involved, but things can get even trickier when family members insert themselves into the mix. One woman recently shared on Reddit that she and an ex-fling of her brother's have grown close — so close that despite the fact that her brother doesn't speak to the former fling, the woman does.
The woman begins by sharing that she and the fling, Anya, always kind of got along: "My brother used to be friends with that girl named Anya, they didn't [date] but they hooked up a couple of times. I love anya and I always hoped she and my brother would end up dating, I met her through him and I ended up having a good relationship with her, we're not that close but occasionally we text and talk on the phone and sometimes go out for some coffee once in a while."
She continues, "We had an inside joke about how she'd be my future sister in law because I'll make sure to set her up with my brother."
Her brother's girlfriend doesn't like Anya at all.
"My brother is now dating his girlfriend Sarah for around 3 years," she explained. "He went nc [no contact] with Anya two years ago because according to him Anya had disrespected his gf multiple times and was acting possessive of him. Once he told me that Anya told Sarah how 'I'm the future wife of your boyfriend'. My brother apparently was offended with Anyas behavior and cut her off. I don't know if any of this is true and I don't care that much."
Apparently Anya believed that she was supposed to be part of the family.
"I've kept in contact with Anya and she occasionally tells me how sad she is things turned out that way with my brother and I said that if I had the chance I'd set them up but I'm not sure it's easy to do that now," the sister said. "She says how she always wanted to be part of our family and she feels like she lost her spot to Sarah. I assured her that I still consider her family even if she's not dating my brother and I'll always love her more no matter what."
The woman is now inviting Anya to her home.
"So lately Anya and I got closer and I invited her on my thanksgiving dinner that my husband and I hosted to our house. When my brother found out Anya is invited he went off on me and said I'm so disrespectful for inviting the girl who tried to break him and Sarah up and how this is disrespectful to him, Sarah and their relationship."
But the woman thinks her brother and Anya belong together.
"He also claimed that I never gave a chance to Sarah and tried to get close to her because I'm so stuck on the idea of him dating Anya which is creepy," she continued. "I told him it's my house and I can invite whoever I want to there and don't need his permission, Anya and I get along perfectly fine and I don't care what she did to them, she'll always be the one that got away for my brother in my eyes."
Her family is split on who is right.
"My brother said that he and his gf won't attend my thanksgiving dinner. And they didn't. Anya still attended. My mom has sided with me and said that my brother and Sarah are acting like brats and they're toxic and insecure but my husband and my father have told me I acted like [a jerk] and I should understand where Sarah and my brother come from."
People think both the sister and Anya need to chill out.
One commenter wrote, "Brother has been with the new GF for three years. It’s long past the point where a sane person would accept that the brother has moved on from Anya & that the ship has sailed."
They also think she's failing her brother.
Another commenter wrote: "What [kind] of sister does that to her brother? I’m so glad I love mine and he loves me because wow this story sucks."
Some think this isn't helping Anya either.
Another commenter pointed out that Anya isn't really winning here, either: "If you genuinely care about Anya outside of thinking of her as a potential sister-in-law, the best thing you could do is to tell her to stop. Because it's not healthy for her to be so hung up on someone who isn't interested in her and it sounds like you're just enabling her."
Ultimately, the woman needs to really examine what she's doing.
One commenter agreed that the whole issue is really the sister, writing, "It goes back to people wanting to play match maker and feeling that they know better. I’ll also bet than Anya has sold a really convincing sob story and OP [the original poster] swallowed it hook, line and sinker."
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