Living with someone who doesn't do their share of the housework can be extremely frustrating, especially if you've spoken to them about it and they seem to have no desire to change. One woman on Reddit explained that her stepdaughter, Trudi, and her family moved in with her and her husband.
She said that her house is now a mess because of Trudi, Trudi's husband, and their kids. Unable to deal with it, the woman decided to move out of the house and into another apartment. Her husband stays with her a few times a week, but he's upset that she won't move back into the house unless Trudi leaves. In a Reddit post, she explained how it got to this point.
The woman has her own apartment that she typically rents out.
Conveniently, the woman already had an apartment that she could move to when things started to get bad. She explained that she married her current husband when she was 32 and he was 47. She has two of her own kids who are away at college. She had her own apartment before she married her current husband, and although she moved in with him, she kept the apartment. She usually rents it out because a lot of tourists visit the area they live in.
Her husband's daughter, Trudi, started facing financial troubles.
The apartment also proved to be useful when her husband's daughter, Trudi, began having financial problems. The family decided that after the holidays, the woman would stop taking reservations at her apartment and would let Trudi and her family live there. "They would sign a lease and we would 'rent' it to them without collecting rent so they could build up rental history and money," she explained.
In the meantime, Trudi and her family moved in with the woman and her husband.
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But living with Trudi was truly miserable for the woman.
Plans changed when Trudi and her family actually moved in and the woman realized how difficult they were to live with. She said that Trudi and her kids do not do their share of housework, and they leave dirty dishes and laundry "everywhere." While Trudi's husband puts in a bit more effort, he's busy with work and comes home too tired to do much.
"The house is just a mess. I have spoken to all of them, including my husband about this. My son-in-law is the only one who makes an effort," the woman wrote. "Trudi literally said that I live in her father's house so I don't get to tell her what to do. My husband did not back me up."
The woman changed her mind about the apartment and moved into it herself.
Though she was supposed to rent the apartment out to Trudi and her family, the woman found a better use for it: she moved back in. "I've been here for a week now and it is great. No noise, no mess, a much better commute for me to my work," she explained, noting that her husband has been staying with her some nights but wants her to go back home and rent the apartment out to Trudi and her family like they originally discussed. She agreed, but under certain conditions.
"I said I would do that if we went back to his house that minute and it was in good shape," she said.
But the house was still a mess.
Unsurprisingly, nothing had really changed. In fact, "it was disgusting," she said.
"It was like if five teenage boys were living there with no supervision," the woman described. "She saw me looking around in disgust and said that it wasn't her fault and that the mess was because they didn't have their own living space."
She decided to get away from it all and go back to her own apartment.
She asked her husband to move in with her.
Living away from her husband is not exactly ideal, so she asked her husband to move in with her. But he isn't interested. He likes where he lives. The woman said that everyone is mad at her because she refuses to rent her apartment out to Trudi and her family, and she won't move back in with her husband until they leave. She asked the Reddit community for their opinions on the situation.
Some Redditors actually think the woman is being too nice.
Redditors pointed out that she didn't have to let Trudi and her family stay with her in the first place, and she certainly didn't have to rent out her apartment to them.
"It’s your apartment and you’d be doing them a huge favour by letting them stay there FOR FREE – a favour they clearly don’t deserve," one person responded. "If she can’t respect 'her father’s house' then you have no reason to believe she’d respect yours either."
Some think she should kick her husband out.
Many Redditors agreed that Trudi and her family would destroy the apartment. But they also think the woman has a husband problem, since he didn't stand up for her and didn't say anything to Trudi. She's being disrespected in her own home, some pointed out, so leaving seems reasonable. Letting her husband stay at the apartment with her is where many Redditors draw the line.
"By you continuing to give your husband a break from the dumpster that he's currently living with he's not going to get angry enough to create change," one person pointed out. "He gets to keep his daughter happy, and he still has you when he wants you. Why would he change at that point? There's no incentive to change at all."
Helping family out is a good thing to do, but in this case …
Though some pointed out that helping family is the right thing to do, many Redditors felt like this woman has been doing too much for people who don't even appreciate it — or respect her or her space.
"Yeah you should help family, but they don't act like they are your family," one Redditor wrote. "The opposite, Trudi shows you, that she very much not plan on seeing you as part of the family, so why should you give up your place, an additional income for them to live like that?"
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