Pregnancy is often an emotional and even challenging time for many people, and that is especially true if you experience miscarriage, stillbirth, or any form of pregnancy loss. Sometimes, friends and family don't know the best way to respond after such a loss occurs, which can compound sadness and pain.
One woman shared on Reddit that she and her husband lost their child when he was stillborn only 12 days before. They are understandably devastated by this loss, and the behavior of her brother-in-law in the days that have followed has only made it worse.
The loss is new, and she's been relying on her family.
The woman writes that she has been relying on her family for emotional support, especially since the loss of her son is still so new and raw:
"Me and my husband lost our babyboy (stillbirth) 12 days ago. It gets increasingly hard for us everyday and were trying our best to remain calm and surround ourselves with our loved ones who support us during these times, me and my sister are very close. Very close and we used to spend the majority of our time together. That is until we both settled down and got married."
Things have been weird since she got married.
She still talks to her sister, but things have shifted since her sister got married:
"She still visits and calls. She's been very supportive and understanding although my brother in law (her husband) tends to be mean and make hurtful comments about me and my husband."
Her brother-in-law was weird during her pregnancy.
It seems like he's not really getting much better, and he was especially unkind during her pregnancy:
"My brother in law is younger than my husband. He always trys to dictate how my family treat each other and demands to be involved in everything no matter how big or small. I've distanced myself from him but I kept in contact with my sister. Throughout my pregnancy he kept acting strange and making fun of everything my husband and I said about our baby."
It turns out her sister is pregnant, too.
The woman just found out her sister is pregnant, but the way she found out is pretty horrifying:
"Yesterday. I got mail sent from my brother in law. I was confused since we don't talk at all."
"I opened the envelope to find a copy of a pregnancy test that belongs to my sister with a small note with the words 'I'm so sorry for yours and your husband's loss' handwritten."
The woman is REALLY confused.
The woman is understandably hurt and baffled by what her brother-in-law did:
"I was shocked, dumbfounded. I was mad so mad. This is how I learned that my sister is pregnant for the first time."
She decided to tell her family, and everyone got mad.
The woman decided to tell her sister and the rest of their family what happened:
"My husband saw it and he was livid, We went to see my family. I told my sister what happened. She was upset but immediately left the house. My mother, father and older sister were sitting with us. And they argued with me saying I shouldn't have told my sister because I might've just caused a huge issue and I should've just thrown the mail away and ignored him."
Like, really mad.
"My mom freaked out and said that brother in law is a jerk but being petty isn't the answer. She asked if I want my sister to resent my brother in law just because we both don't get along. My husband and I got into an argument with her."
The rest of the family didn't know about the pregnancy, either.
It also turns out that no one else knew her sister was pregnant, so everyone found out in this odd way:
"My dad saw where we're coming from but said I shouldn't have told her. They themselves didn't know about the pregnancy. They said that my brother in law would've told the entire family if he had bad intentions. We left the house after the argument."
Now no one is speaking.
The woman and her husband decided to "go no-contact" for a while so they can deal with the emotional fallout. But she says her mom keeps calling her to try to talk, and she's not sure what to do. Enter: Reddit and its endless cacophony of opinions.
People are pretty united: Her brother-in-law is the problem.
As one user said:
"If your sister's marriage depends on everyone hiding her husband's true personality from her, then it’s effed either way."
They also pointed out that the whole family is enabling him.
Plenty of commenters noted that the entire family keeps this behavior going by enabling the brother-in-law. One person noted:
"My favorite game enablers play is getting mad at you for holding [expletive] accountable. 'If you had just ignored it none of this would have happened!'"
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
