Before they have children, most people assume that somehow, magically, you’ll know what to do when you eventually get there.
The truth, of course, is that nobody knows what they’re doing, nobody is an expert at first, and no number of prenatal classes can prepare you for the reality of caring for a real, live human being.
Whether you’re first-time parents, or working on a third, fourth, fifth, or even your tenth, every child brings unique challenges that Mom and Dad aren’t prepared for. It’s always a learning experience, even when you aren’t building all the knowledge from the ground up.
Nobody knows that better than Clint Edwards, the prolific and hilarious parent behind the blog "No Idea What I’m Doing: A Daddy Blog."
The dad of three recently reaffirmed that, with a heartwarming post about how much his wife does for their family, and how often he takes her for granted.
Scroll down below to read Edwards' beautiful message to his beloved wife.
Thumbnail Photo Credit: Facebook/ No Idea What I'm Doing
The post, originally published in March of 2015, sets the stage by explaining that Edwards and his wife, Mel, are parents of three children.
At the time he wrote the piece, their youngest child was still a baby, often up in the night, requiring attention and feeding.
The conversation sprang from a conversation the couple had about whose job it is to get up in the night with the baby.
Like most modern-day couples, they believe in dividing the child care duties as evenly as possible.
Still, as many women can attest, there's an implicit gender divide in even the most enlightened couples.
There's an idea that the man in a couple deserves extra praise for taking care of the kids, since it's normally the woman's "duty."
In his post, Edwards explains how he accidentally revealed, to himself and his wife, that he, too, subconsciously believed that he was father of the year for getting up in the night with the baby.
He writes of an incident where, short of sleep and cranky, he told his wife, "At least I get up with her. A lot of men don’t. You should be grateful."
Any married person can explain why that's a mistake, but it's his wife's thoughtful rebuttal that really makes him think through his own assumptions.
Hearing that her husband believes himself to be a "super dad," simply for putting in the same amount of child care work that she does, Mel responded, saying, in part, "… It doesn’t make me feel like we’re in a partnership. It makes me feel like you want me to kiss your butt every time you get up in the night. This is your baby, too.”
The simple truth of what his wife was saying hit Edward like a ton of bricks.
"She's your baby, too."
It's a simple fact that every parent knows intellectually, but can sometimes be hard to appreciate with the stress of the day-to-day grind.
For Edwards, the moment served as a simple reminder that his parenting contributions are not more valuable simply because fewer fathers step-up to the plate the way that he does.
In fact, he was just doing exactly what he ought to be doing as a responsible father.
He left for work angry at his wife for pointing it out, then he realized, "The understanding that Mel was responsible for home and child care was so deeply ingrained in my understanding of family and contribution, that I’d placed myself on a pedestal…"
Eventually, the realization hits home: his wife is just as busy as he is, and they both contribute to everything about the household, from child care to dirty dishes.
It stands to reason that the expectations should be equal, too. Edwards called his wife and told her, “You’re right… This is a partnership, and I shouldn’t act like I’m doing some amazing thing because I get up in the night. I’m going to stop.”
Mel was quiet for a moment. Then she said, “Thank you.”
Check out the video below to watch another adorable dad in action.
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