That first year of motherhood is a chaotic and wonderful time in the lives of many. There are moments of great joy and moments of true struggle, and through it all, a little family blossoms.
There's so much that has been said and written about motherhood, but somehow moms still find themselves constantly caught off guard. As parents, we think we have more figured out than we really do, and sometimes life humbles us. The beautiful thing that comes from it is the community in sharing those ups and downs.
These eight moms opened up about what kinds of things completely took them by surprise during the first year of motherhood. Some are surprising, while others may have you nodding your head in agreement.
Being a mom isn't what it looks like on Instagram.
For some moms, the gap between their reality and the so-called realities they see other parents share online is large.
"We're so into 'normalizing' things in 2021. Can we normalize that the first year of being a mom is frustrating, isolating, and totally not what social media sees?" one mom tweeted.
The first year will show you who is there for you.
"When you have a baby you'll see who your real friends are," one mom noted.
"If I had to depend on friends to get through the first year of being a mom I would've been dead."
Having a baby can teach you about self-care.
Many moms are shocked to find that taking care of their baby teaches them about the different ways they need to care for themselves.
"First year of being a mom is the hardest," a mom tweeted.
"You have to learn to make time for yourself in the midst of the chaos lol it's the only thing that will keep you sane."
You can open up about the less-than-thrilling moments of being a mom.
Not all moms love being a mom all the time. In fact, not all parents love having to parent all the time. It's a reality we all recognize, but the acknowledgment of it has been stigmatized in society.
The pressure to be the perfect parent is exhausting and steals the joy from the first year of parenting for so many. Moms are shocked that it's OK to admit it. In fact, it's ideal so you can work through those feelings instead of suppressing them until your feelings mount to a boiling point.
You don't need as many things as you might think.
There are countless products marketed to new moms, but not every parent will find they need the same things. What's an essential item for one may be useless to another. A lot of parents find that less is more, so it's easier to stick to sturdy basics.
Not every mom has a beautiful breastfeeding journey.
There's a lot of pressure to breastfeed, but it doesn't end up being the best course of action for every mom and baby. That shouldn't be something moms feel guilt about, but it happens more often than you think.
"I had my son 3 years ago. For my prenatal I saw a midwife and my partner and I took a series of childbirth and parenting classes. During all of my appointments and classes I was encouraged to breastfeed my child throughout the first year of his life," one mom shared on Reddit.
"I was not told that not every mom is able to breastfeed their babies and that sometimes your body just does not produce enough milk to sustain your baby. I took tons of supplements, I made appointments with breastfeeding consultants and attended La Leche. I rented a hospital grade breast pump for 2 months [and] still my son was losing weight and my [morale] was sinking as I believed that I was failing as a mother.
"It was ultimately my son's pediatrician, a new mother herself, who convinced me to let it go and give up breastfeeding. Within 2 weeks of being bottle fed with Earth's best organic formula, my son gained almost 10 pounds. Today he is in the 98th percentile and is happy and healthy. Giving up breastfeeding was the best thing I ever did."
There's nothing like the highs of motherhood.
"I had no idea of the utter joy I would feel at being a mom," one mom tweeted.
"I knew it would be hard. And I had walked through really hard things on my own journey. But the joy surprised me; the love surprised me; the sense of strength and purpose surprised me."
You have more of a capability for patience than you think.
"The amount of patience I've developed since being a mom has surprised me tremendously," one mom noted.
"Even though I still struggle I'm proud of myself."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
