Back-to-school is traditionally a time of excitement for kids, even if that excitement wanes after, say, the first week. For parents, back-to-school often brings up many emotions that range from anxiety about what the year will bring to pure relief that occupied kids and an empty house is the new normal yet again.
But this year, the range of back-to-school emotions is more complex than ever. Way more complex.
At this point, we've been home with kids for what feels like centuries. That means parents — ahem, mostly mothers — have been doing (and feeling!) more than ever before. We've worked, helped kids with their online schooling, disproportionately lost our jobs, and shifted jobs or how we go about doing our jobs, and we've freaking survived. Some way, somehow.
Over the past year and a half, we've marveled at how moms are doing it all. We've seen viral images of mothers on conference calls with an angry-looking first grader sitting next to them, struggling through online learning. We've personally known mothers who have lost their jobs and incomes (or been them). We've read stories of moms who felt like they were carrying the weight of the world on their backs.
At the same time, we mothers have been quietly, or not so quietly, angry that it's all fallen on us. In all of the productive conversations that have been happening about the mental load in recent years, it's never been more apparent how much mothers carry than at this moment in time.
Finally, back-to-school is upon us. We wanted to believe that back-to-school this year would be a time of pure celebration. But with the health crisis still raging, this year moms are feeling all the feels about their kids returning to school. For kids who are younger than 12 and aren't able to be vaccinated yet, there's a lot of worry to be had.
It's incredibly unfortunate that we're still in a place where we have to worry so much. In most places, kids will once again be wearing masks. They'll be asked to socially distance while in school. And teachers will have to get creative all over again.
It's not just unfortunate. It's enraging, because at this point the health crisis is largely preventable.
Still, in all of the emotions that will likely bubble up as kids get back to the classroom five days a week, relief is bound to be one of them. Yes, we're worried about the health and safety of our children. But physical health is just one aspect of that.
While we parents have been struggling in so many ways, we've also had the crushing weight of knowing just how much our kids have been struggling, too. The worst part is, there hasn't been much we could do to help. Kids need social lives. They need friends. And they need to be around people other than their parents.
The past year and a half has likely been harder on kids' mental health than on anyone's.
When kids return to their classrooms, that means that we, as mothers, no longer have to be more than their parents. We are no longer their teachers. Their entire social lives. We aren't responsible for everything, even if we are still responsible for, well, most things.
So, while it may not be time to let our guards down, and while we still have to be vigilant about telling our kids to be safe while in school, there is still room for some major feelings of relief. And it's not just because we know our kids need more time outside the home; it's because we need it, too.
We haven't been able to feel like complete people for so long. Finally, bits of our lives — and our independence — are about to come back.
Undoubtedly, there will be a lot of fear this school year, especially in areas where vaccination rates remain low. But moms everywhere also need to know that in the mixed bag of emotions, it is completely OK to feel happy, joyful, and relieved that kids have something else to do. In the midst of the guilt, the panic, the fearing the worst, making room for some positive feelings is important, too.
This school year may not look exactly how we thought it would. But if we've learned anything, it's that our kids are so incredibly resilient. They can handle wearing masks, and exercising caution, and thinking about the well-being of others. In many cases, we've seen them adjust better than some adults. But they shouldn't have to feel the weight of being isolated for much longer.
We're all ready for a slice of normalcy. So, even if it's from behind a mask, it's time for moms to breathe a sigh of relief and feel OK about doing so. Yes, there will be stress, anxiety, fear, and probably some sleepless nights. Hopefully, this year back-to-school also brings joy.
