When our kids are young, we are always the first people they want to come to when they're going through a challenge. As they get older, it can feel nearly impossible to get our once-verbose children to keep opening up — and sometimes, tweens and teens need to stay connected the most.
While it's tempting to sit your child down and demand they tell you what's going on in their lives, that's probably not going to work. Luckily, there are a few easier options and ideas that might help.
Head to the Car
Odds are, if you google "how to get my tween to talk to me," just about every list will have this suggestion at the top, and there's a reason why. A lot of us feel safer opening up when we don't have to look someone in the eye and we don't have to see their reaction, and that can be especially true for tweens. If you feel like your tween has something to say but you don't know how to get them to say it, take a drive together to get ice cream or just to listen to music and see what happens.
Pull Out the Board Games
If you've got a tween in the home, it's possible you haven't been able to bond over games like you once did — but it's never too late. One way to set up a night of chatting and having fun is by getting out some of your favorite board games, serving a few snacks, and popping open a few bottles of sparkling water. Everyone can relax and open up.
Try Conversation Cards
Sometimes, the best way to get your tween or teen to open up is by using a product that's designed specifically for that purpose, like conversation cards. Here are two options on Amazon: Letz Talk Conversation Cards for Teens ($10.49) and Teen Talk in a Jar ($9.99).
Try Journaling Together
Another idea is to get a journal that you take turns going back and forth with. There are options for sons, daughters, and all kids. Between Mom and Me ($7.99) is available on Amazon and marketed for parents of sons and children who identify as male. Love, Mom and Me is an option for parents of daughters and children who identify as female. Unfortunately, there aren't many gender-neutral options out there, but both of these might be easy to adapt.
Take Them Out for a Surprise
You remember when your tween or teen was little and just about everything could be solved by taking a trip to the coffee shop for a cookie or to the bookstore to play with trains? That same kid is in there. If you feel like your tween or teen needs to talk but won't open up, surprise them with a Frappuccino date or a run to the game store.
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