We all know that having your mother come to visit — and stay for an extended period of time — can be tough on your mental health. But one woman's struggle with her mother just hit a rather large bump in the road when she came to stay for two weeks. The mom of three took to Reddit to describe a frustrating (and maybe irreparable) experience with her mother, but she also wanted to know if her reaction went a bit too far. You be the judge.
The woman revealed in her post that she suffers from multiple sclerosis, along with another condition called adhesive arachnoiditis. Both make it difficult for her to do a lot of tasks around the home. She hasn't been able to work in a long time due to her conditions and spends a lot of time in a wheelchair. But that didn't stop her mother from criticizing her to the extreme. Her mom even went so far as to call her a "lazy" housewife.
Yikes. Insensitive much?
It seems like a pretty toxic relationship. The user wrote that, though two of her kids are now grown, her primary job for the past 19 years, since her doctor declared her disabled, has been raising kids: "So, for the last 19 years I have of course raised/am raising my kids. I do most of the cooking, but we have someone that comes in twice a week to do cleaning and laundry, as it is impossible for me to do those things."
She also expressed sheer gratitude for her husband and how hard he works. "My husband is an absolute gem," she shared. "He works 8 to 10 hours a day, and thankfully works from home. He helps without my asking, and has never acted negatively towards me because of my disability."
Her mother, on the other hand, seems to be the opposite of a "gem." She didn't think twice about railing into her own daughter for not doing enough around the house. "As soon as she walked into my home she started complaining about our clutter (things like a pile of mail)," she wrote.
"During her visit her remarks became more frequent, and nasty until finally she told me I am a terrible stay at home wife/mom, and she is surprised my husband tolerates this and stays with me, because I am a physical and financial leech that is too lazy to do anything."
Wow. And if that weren't enough, she says that her mother completely disregarding her medical conditions isn't a rare occurrence. "My mother as always been dismissive of my medical conditions, saying that she had aches and pains but didn't let that get in her way," she shared. "I have tried to explain that what I am dealing with are not simple aches and pains. I have even given her printouts on my conditions. But, she continues to blow it off."
It sounds like an extremely hurtful situation to be in. But the sad truth is, while families should be the most supportive of one another, sometimes it seems like the exact opposite is true. Sometimes, family members can be the most critical, rather than seeing the situation for what it is.
For the Reddit user, the "lazy" comment was the final straw. She wrote that at that point, she "lost it" with her mother: "I told her I am not a house wife, and I didn't stop working 19 years ago to become one. I told her I am physically disabled, and spend half my time in a wheelchair."
She didn't stop there, either. She told her mother that the only terrible mom in the picture was her: "I told her if anyone was a terrible mom it was her for not recognizing and taking my medical conditions seriously. I then told her to leave and go back home."
Was she in the right for kicking her mother out, or did she go too far?
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