Way back in the day, gender roles were more standard. In most heterosexual households, men went to work to pay the bills, while women took care of the house, laundry, and kids.
While some people today still follow this pattern, it's mostly done by choice and not by obligation. Plus, for most of us, two paychecks are needed to run a household. And even so, it's hard to make sure there's enough money for all of the bills.
Children, in general, come with their own set of expenses. As parents, it's something you agree to handle when deciding to have a child. Of course, kids shouldn't get everything they want. But they should have clothes, food, and other necessary items for hygiene and their well-being. That includes toothpaste, soap, and for young girls, products for their period.
One dad on Reddit is making quite a splash after he wrote a post titled, "AITA for expecting my daughter to do chores?" Typically, people post to get a second perspective. But, this dad might not have thought he'd get the onslaught of criticism that he did. Turns out, his post is a bit tough to read — especially if you're a woman.
The post starts with an unfortunate tragedy, along with an introduction. "I (50M) lost my wife ten years ago," he wrote, under the username of ThrowAwayGirlVsBoy. "It's just me and my two kids N (17M) and E (F15), recently it caused a big stink with some family that my daughter does chores, but my son does not."
You may assume that he's trying to use his daughter to replace the roles of his wife — but it's even more upsetting than that.
"It's because I have to spend extra on my daughter each month not only for her extracurriculars, but for her monthly supplies, so it's my way of having her pay me back," he wrote. "She cleans the shared living spaces and bathrooms in our apartment and cooks four meals a week."
Those supplies, for the record, are menstrual supplies. Since she's a teen who has a period, he believes she needs to work harder to earn the material she needs to properly take care of it. This is where jaws should be dropping. It's upsetting enough to know that not all women have access to materials like this — but having a 15-year-old without a mother try to earn them by doing chores is a little upsetting.
But there's even more to the story. "My brother said I spend twice as much on my sons extracurriculars and by my logic, he should have to do chores too," he wrote. "I explained he didn't because I feel his could help him get into college but hers were just a hobby in my opinion."
Later on in the post, he verified what extracurriculars the two of them had.
"My son plays Football and Baseball while [my] daughter is in choir and a dance group, so yes I do think my son has a better chance at getting a scholarship," he said.
It may be unclear if he recognizes this, but he's ranking each club as to which is more important. And for him, he's putting athletics over the arts.
His daughter overheard him say this to his brother, and as expected, was hurt that her hobbies weren't seen as being important enough.
"E overheard me say this and was very upset," he said. "She started refusing to do chores because it isn't fair." But sadly, that didn't fly.
"I told her she'd still be doing her chores and life isn't fair so stop being a brat, or I'd refuse to pay for her extracurricular stuff or pads. I wouldn't actually do that, but I was mad when I said it," he said.
Even threatening to cut off someone's menstrual supplies is cruel, and quite embarrassing for any 15-year-old. Especially because at that age, she's likely too young to find many out-of-house jobs.
It's also important to question why he doesn't think it's important for his son to learn how to cook, clean, or take care of himself. Since he's 17, he may know by now if he's actually getting those football scholarships. Even if he miraculously did, it doesn't guarantee that he'll become a pro-football player for a living with the ability to pay others to take care of him. The chances are more likely that he'll end up stressing a future partner out based on his inability to help maintain a household.
Parents need to realize that these days, both men and women need to put in an effort to keep their place clean. Learning survival skills is a great way to make sure they'll be OK on their own. Even asking the son to scrub the bathrooms on occasion will help him recognize these jobs are important.
Even though she's only 15, his daughter took a stand — and moved out of the house. "She packed a bag and took off. She's been staying with my sister who called me an abusive [expletive] when I demanded she send E home," he wrote. "My brother and sister are coddling her and I'm furious."
Even his son said that he was in the wrong, which means this situation must have been brewing for quite some time. After initially posting his story, his feedback wasn't the greatest — and by explaining more, it seems as if this is just the kind of person he is.
"I'm not sexist and I don't appreciate being called one, and for those of you messaging me saying you hope someone calls CPS on me, I'm not doing anything wrong so that's just stupid," he stated.
But, hopefully he at least read some of the opinions that fellow Redditors gave — especially if he ever wants to make honest amends with his daughter.
"Threatening to not pay for her pads? No wonder she left," wrote felinora99. "As her father you're supposed to supply for her basic needs and this is definitely not a grounding subject."
"Your family is 100% right to snap at you and to protect the girl, and I hope you make your son do chores at some point," the commenter continued. "Chores isn't a kind of money, chores is just respect because you live there, and it's a crucial thing to learn as a kid to know how to handle a home as an adult. You're not doing your kids a favor, and if you care about your daughter, please do apologize a lot and make things fair (which mean equal chores for both of them)."
For anyone else who may be in this position, it's important to know where to access pads and tampons if parents are withholding them for punishment. Many students also got their supplies while at school, which is another reason as to why this information is handy. According to Well + Good, young women can text 211 or visit 211.org to find a local spot that's giving out free supplies. An organization called #HappyPeriod also helps to make sure women are never without.
Women shouldn't be treated differently because they have different needs. It's a good thing this 15-year-old not only advocated for herself, but had a safe place to go to that treated her with the love and respect she deserves. It's important for all kids to learn how to do chores, regardless of their sex.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
