For years, families operated under certain expectations. Women would take care of the home and family while men were out in the workforce, providing a living for their families.
Those times are pretty far behind us now. There's nothing wrong with families who still abide by this structure. Each family has to do what works for them. Today, many families feature two working parents who split household and child care responsibilities (albeit not always equally).
One couple was living this life with little issue despite the fact that the husband grew up being taught to run a household by traditional gender roles. Things were going great until the couple had a baby, as mom shared in a post to Reddit.
The baby wasn't able to meet the family more traditionally because of health restrictions. When it was time for the baby to meet the paternal grandparents, the husband of the original poster (OP) presented an unusual ask. He wanted his wife to pretend to live by traditional gender roles while his parents visited … for a month.
Being married is blending two people and their backgrounds, which may vary greatly. One woman shared her story of being married to a man who was raised to believe things that are widely regarded as gender stereotypes today.
"Husband was raised in a very conservative family with traditional gender roles. When husband and I started dating, he didn’t even know how to do laundry, cook or clean properly," she explained.
"I immediately told him this wouldn't fly and he expressed a willingness or dare I say enthusiasm to learn."
Her husband even made her proud by taking on the majority of that work when she became busier.
"He's now a great cook, cleans like a pro even to the point where he covers about 60-70% of the household chores in addition to equally raising our 9-months-old son," she shared.
"I am unable to contribute equally to the household chores since I started graduate school full time and also has a full time job."
With the baby born during the health crisis, they haven't seen many other people.
"Here comes the issue, we had the baby at the height of the [health crisis] in our state," the mom explained.
"MIL and FIL lives about four hours away but we were taking extra precautions and prevented anyone from seeing our son. Both states now have less than 5% infection rate, both FIL and MIL have [isolated] and gotten tested numerous times in order to visit."
It sounded like a great idea, until her husband made a truly appalling ask.
"They plan on staying with us for about a month to help with the baby. I was excited for them to come until husband told me that for the sake of his dignity, he would prefer if only I do the household chores," she revealed.
"He does not want FIL to make fun of him for being 'emasculated' and not having control of his household."
His family has already shared some feelings on the matter.
"Apparently his parents and extended family members have made fun of him in the past for being 'too soft' and have implied that I wear the pants in the marriage," she explained.
"I immediately refused because gender norms are absolute [expletive] and I do not think I should be perpetuating them. Husband has been sulking since then and seem less excited about his parents visit."
She sensed tension with her husband and started wondering if she was in the wrong.
She asked for opinions, and she got plenty. People couldn't believe what her husband was asking from her.
"So he's willing to let you drown in work, school, chores, and childcare for the sake of not having his daddy insult his manhood? NTA, and don’t let up, either," one commenter declared.
People pointed out that her husband wasn't doing himself or his dignity any favors.
"Your husband should give it right back. Encourage him to roast his father for not contributing to the household. Real men actually raise their children and take care of the house they live in," another commenter offered.
"The answer to dealing with his parent's misogyny for the rest of their lives isn't to play pretend and live a lie every time they see them, it's to shut it down," another added.
"He has plenty of time to practice before they come. He can write down every single insult his dad has made, brainstorm different scenarios, and then practice exactly what he wants to say to shut it down."
Then one genius commenter noted something no one else had.
"If your FIL buys into 'mens roles' [expletive], why is he coming?"
"Another mouth to feed, another person to clean up after, and a new font of derision and repression and expectation is not helpful," they pointed out.
"Make sure to invite him to actually do [expletive] while he's over. 'Haha, you're whipped son!' 'Hey FIL, I'm exhausted and still need to study for a test. Can you wash the dishes tonight while MIL puts baby down? I'm so glad y'all came to help out!'"
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
