When you get married, you not only get a partner but also inherit that partner’s extended family. This can be a tricky path to navigate, especially when your mother-in-law does not approve of you, as was the case for one woman.
This pregnant woman took to Reddit's "Am I the A**hole?" group to ask if she should apologize to her mother-in-law after they fought. The daughter-in-law was so upset, she ended up leaving her own baby shower early. This story has many twists and turns, but most agree the mother-in-law and pregnant woman's husband were ultimately in the wrong in this situation.
The woman starts out her story by giving readers some context. “My (32F) husband of 7 years (32M) and I are pregnant. We have one previous child, Anne (6F, fake name) who has epilepsy. She has had 1 seizure before (relevant later in the story),” she wrote.
She then began her long tale: "To be honest, my MIL is horrible. She gives backhanded compliments, insults me and my looks and always tries to set my husband up with other people. The last time we went to her place she said she could make my husband a tinder account, or set him up with some girl who is the daughter of MILs best friend. My husband has told her to stop, but doesn't do anything else. News flash, she doesn't stop."
"When sending invites to my baby shower, I told my husband I didn't want my MIL there," the original poster (OP) continued. "He told me, 'since you're not letting my own mother be in the room with you when you're giving birth, you have to invite her to this. You should be grateful that you get a baby shower at all'. Also, he wouldn't even be at the baby shower, as he has something at work."
Naturally, this mother-in-law couldn't attend the baby shower peacefully. "At the baby shower, I was telling everyone how our baby was once again a girl," the woman explained. "My MIL then decided to say, 'Wow another girl! Let's hope she's not like her sister'. I asked what she meant by that and she said, 'we don't need any other diseases in the family. Imagine seeing a new-born baby drop to the floor and shake everywhere. It's embarrassing'. At first I was honestly confused as she clearly had 0 idea what she was talking about. But then the pregnancy hormones really kicked in and I started crying hysterically. I left my friends house and my mother drove me home."
Her husband did not make things any better. “Once I got home I saw my husband there. I didn't know why he was home and not at work but I just didn't stop crying. He said, 'where are all the gifts? You do realise how expensive some baby things can be'. I honestly couldn't believe he said that of all things so I decided to lock myself in our bedroom,” she wrote.
"About 10 mins later he tells me he got a text from his mother explaining what happened. He told me that I 'caused a scene' and 'should be happy I got to meet up with some friends today'. I tried explaining how wrong what she said was and how she insulted our daughter and UNBORN baby. He said 'well Anne's epilepsy medication isn't cheap so I see why she said what she said. You just interpreted it wrong. Apologise to my mother.' I packed a bag and called my mother to pick me up. I'm currently at her place and she's picking Anne up from school.
"My husband and his family keep blowing up my phone and calling me a 'drama queen' along with other hateful names so I need to ask, AITA," she wrote.
Reddit users almost unanimously agreed the husband and the mother-law were in the wrong and the original poster should get out of this marriage fast. One user wrote, “You are in an abusive relationship and you need to get the hell out of it immediately before it does irreparable damage to your children.”
Another wrote, “OP, I’m just going to say this flat out: get the best divorce lawyer you can, and go after him for everything you can get. He sounds like a narcissist, and an abusive bully to boot.”
The original poster updated the story with a juicy twist. She read the comment section to her husband and asked him for a divorce. He did not take it well.
After the encounter with her soon-to-be ex-husband, her father-in-law got involved. “So my FIL contacted me (which is weird we only talk at family gatherings and what not) and told me he apologises on behalf of his wife’s actions. He told me that she never liked me because I 'stole him away' from someone called Melissa?Apparently my husband and her were together during college but she cheated on him. MIL however still loved her like a daughter,” she wrote.
She went on with the update: “Turns out, all these years we’ve been together he’s been cheating on me with Melissa. MIL knew. FIL knew. Everyone knew. It explains a lot, like why he wasn’t at work that day. What actually happened was Melissa came over to our house and they had sex IN MY OWN BED. I was disgusted hearing it. I’m not sure how but she must’ve left before I came home. So basically Melissa told MIL and MIL told FIL. FIL said he regretted not telling me sooner and kept apologising over and over again. I was shocked and started crying. I thanked him for telling me and said I just needed some space.”
Seems like the original advice given is very legitimate and still applies. This woman needs to run, not walk, away from this toxic situation. She is not the one who needs to apologize.
