Every year when December rolls around, so does my Christmas anxiety. I like Christmas as much as the next person, but the holiday season is seriously stressful. There is so much to do, from peeling the rotting pumpkins off the front porch to cleaning my house top to bottom. And then there's going on a tree-chopping excursion only to slam the tree through the front door, and hoping half the needles don't fall off! Then there's the seemingly endless shopping. Crushing stress is just … part of it all. Or so it seems.
No matter what, when you have two kids and you're a single mom, there is gonna be a lot to do around the holidays. But sometimes I wonder if we've got it all wrong when it comes to how far we push ourselves in terms of incessant holiday shopping. Of course, I love having a few great gifts for my kids each year. That's what makes Christmas fun for me. But how much do they really need to have a good holiday? Likewise, how much does anyone really need?
Each year, it's like my list of who to buy for gets longer and longer. But the truth is, a lot of it I'm doing out of pure obligation. I know that this person or that person will probably have something nice for me, so I want to have something nice for them in return. Personally, I don't exactly feel like I need anything at all, though! Sure, there are things I want. But the older I get, the more sentimental I become about the holidays. The more I would prefer a nice handwritten note and a few cookies baked with love. I'm not even kidding.
I'm guessing a lot of people who I'm shelling out dollars I can't afford to be spending for on scarves and candles feel the same way. So, why do we continue to do it? Is it because no one wants to come off like a mean old grinch who doesn't want to give gifts? Is it because we're afraid of bucking the traditions we've become so used to, even if they're draining us? I'm really not sure.
Honestly, I have tried to give less and still feel good about it in the past. But it isn't easy. The giving season being a consumerist trap is a very real thing. And living in the age of Instagram and Facebook ads doesn't make it any easier. Every single scroll means you're likely coming across an item that someone on your list might like. Even for the very financially stable families out there, most of whom have more than one income, it's financially draining.
For the single moms who are just trying to get through the holidays without overdrawing their bank accounts, it feels impossible. It feels defeating. And that's really no way to spend the holidays.
While I make a vow to shop less and spend less every year, this year, I'd really like to do better for my own sake. It's not purely financial, either. It's because I think a small, thoughtful gift — like a card, some baked goods, or a handmade gift — is, in many ways, more special than something I ordered from Amazon. Truly! I mean, there's always a new gadget on the market, and the truth is that everyone I'm shopping for, aside from my kids, has their own online shopping addictions. They could just as easily buy those things for themselves.
Spending less does mean that there's a little more planning involved. Because if you still want your gifts to mean something, you have to give them extra thought. I'm OK with that. I'd rather slow down and give from the heart than click "buy now" 25 times from now until Christmas. Not only will it save me money, but it will also save me from feeling totally crushed by the weight of the holidays when what I really want to do is actually enjoy them.
Personally, I'd love to see other people let go of the spending traps this season and enjoy themselves more. But I can only do what's best for me. If others want to follow suit, that too would be a great gift. No spending required.
