Wedding gifts are a tradition for a lot of families, and a lot of couples put together a wedding registry so guests can easily find the gifts that the couple wants to receive.
One grandmother recently shared on Reddit that she and her husband have a unique process for giving wedding gifts to their grandchildren. Unfortunately, one of their grandchildren won't be benefitting from that process, and now she's very upset.
They gift their grandchildren a significant amount of money.
"I(70s F) am the grandmother to 5 wonderful grandkids (3 women and 2 men)," the original poster (OP) begins. "The last of my grandkids got married last October. My husband (70s M) and I usually get them a small gift (usually the cheapest thing on the registry), then the day before the wedding, we privately gift them a check for $40k, we prefer that they use it for a house, but we don’t force them to do so. We also ask them to keep it private (we have a big extended family, and we don’t want them to expect it from us). They all honored this request."
Their youngest granddaughter didn't like the present they chose.
"When it came to our youngest granddaughter, we bought her an air fryer (that was the cheapest thing on the registry) and sent it in advance," OP continues. "Then she called us furious, she went off on us for being cheap and how she knew we had money, but that we did not love her enough to show it by getting her something more expensive."
They decided against giving her the same cash gift.
"We were horrified by her behavior, then she went ahead and threatened to disinvite us if we didn’t get her a better gift. We discussed it, bought her a China set, but we did not give her the money that was set aside for her. We decided that she did not deserve it."
She found out about it several months later.
"Fast foreword to last week, she met up with her brother, they got to talking and she found out about the cash gift that he got" the grandmother explains. "She asked her cousins and found out all of them got the same gift. She called us furious for discriminating against her. We told her that it was our money, and after how she behaved, we did not want to give it to her."
Now she's super mad.
"She started crying, said that she was just extremely stressed, and that we shouldn’t have taken it to heart. We told her that we stand by our decision. Now she is refusing to attend Christmas, and her mother (our DIL) is calling us AHs."
People are not having it — and believe the granddaughter is entitled.
The top commenter writes, "She cared more about the cost of a gift than your presence at her wedding. That’s not stress, that’s spoiled. And her mother backing her up shows why she is spoiled.
"If she’d apologised BEFORE finding out about the money, then you might’ve believed that her remorse was been real…. But she didn’t.
"She called you ‘furious’ once she found out – trying to force you to give her more AGAIN. Then tried tears to manipulate you. Now, with no wedding to blame her behaviour on, she’s refusing to come to events until you cough up the cash.
"Guess you know what value she puts on her grandparents. She’s entitled, spoiled and rude."
They've suggested alternative gifts.
A second person writes, "This reminds me of countless fairy tales where the test of the person's merit is how they deal with disappointment, or act towards someone who is suffering adversity (or just ugly and old). If the protagonist chooses to be kind and classy, instead of being entitled and disparaging, the story rewards them with gold, cool stuff, or the King's daughter's hand in marriage. Karma, in other words. Your granddaughter would do well to heed this lesson. Perhaps a collection of Grimm's Fairy Tales would make a nice Christmas gift?"
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