Dr. Sarah Kiani’s Instagram is iconic. There’s her impeccable style, enviable DIY skills (like making her daughter’s birthday cake), flare for interior design … and, of course, her tips for improving your physical and mental health. All this, and she is ultra-relatable. She may have superhero qualities — such as working in the early trenches of the global health crisis while she was pregnant — but she can also make a reel joking about spending time with her husband (also a doctor and her business partner, btw) or going to sleep. Her life is filled to the brim with blessings, but “there can never be balance,” as she admits to LittleThings.
“I don’t believe in it,” says Dr. Kiani, who is board certified in family medicine with a special focus on mental health and anti-aging. “I believe in finding your own unique work-life fit.
"There is no way we as humans can give equal amounts of attention, time, energy and importance to everything in our life. Life is more like a pendulum, where your focus is where that pendulum will swing. Our focus is constantly shifting, so the pendulum is constantly swinging."
— Dr. Sarah Kiani
"As a physician, entrepreneur, and mom of four, I have learned to ruthlessly prioritize!" she says. "When I prioritize my life, I can focus with intention on what really matters to me and accomplish my most important goals. There will always be distractions that get in the way of accomplishing what we really want, that’s why it’s imperative that we self-reflect to identity our core values.”
Once you have those core values, Dr. Kiani believes “it’s important to develop habits to achieve our goals, whether it’s your career, relationships, motherhood, or lifestyle. I like to think of it as a 'Personal Leadership Philosophy.' Ultimately, this PLP helps me gain clarity on how to make decisions in all aspects of my life.”
One of those big decisions was deciding to embrace the hijab. Dr. Kiani, who was born in Pakistan and moved to the US when she was 11 years old, shares, “I was 18 years old when I first thought about embracing the hijab, but I was always afraid of the backlash I would get from being a visible Muslim in the field of medicine. As I matured over the years, learning more about Islam and reflecting on what’s really important to me in my life, I realized that I wasn't embracing the hijab to please people. I was doing it to please Allah, and when you take a step towards Allah, he never abandons you. That concept, coupled with raising unapologetic Muslim kids, gave me strength and courage to embrace the hijab in 2017.”
Today, she does face misconceptions.
“This mostly comes from my patients who think I'm not aware of the American culture or language until they hear me speak and educate them about their health and wellness,” she says.
But it’s not the first time she’s felt pushback. Even though she had wanted to be a doctor since she was a little girl, her dream was constantly questioned by family and friends.
“I was always involved in sports and extracurricular activities, wasn't a straight A student, and didn't get a 4.0 GPA, but still knew my goals and what I wanted to do in life,” admits Dr. Kiani.
“After high school when I wanted to pursue a career in medicine, people started asking me if I would be able to study for so many years. It shocked me that people were questioning my decision, because medicine is the only career I ever talked about growing up. Were they questioning my ability? This sparked an even more fierce determination within me. I believe actions speak louder than words, so I'm not one to confront people. I just waited to show those people who were rooting for me to fail that I did it, and happily.”
— Dr. Sarah Kiani
She’s found the road to happiness, but it’s not a breeze. Dr. Kiani says, “They don't realize how much I had to work to be where I am today. They don't see the constant struggles I go through as a physician, wife, and mother to juggle it all. They don’t realize how much work I put into each one of my roles. I self-reflect every single day and figure out ways I can improve myself. I’m constantly learning and cultivating a growth mindset.”
To incorporate more emotional, psychological, and social well-being in your life, Dr. Kiani shares the following tips:
- Practice mindfulness: Live in the moment, slow down, and enjoy the chaos. This time will never return.
- Say positive things to yourself on a daily basis.
- Recognize your strengths and build on them. Accept your failures and learn from them.
- Take out some time for yourself on a regular basis.
- Keep up with your friendships.
- Start exercising, even if it’s only 30 minutes per day at home, because it has some direct stress-relieving benefits through the release of endorphins. This group of peptide hormones both relieves pain and creates a general feeling of well-being. Physical activity helps release the production of your brain's feel-good neurotransmitters, called endorphins.
Dr. Kiani and her husband formed ZEAM Medical Group, a multidisciplinary practice combining primary care, psychiatry, mental health, and aesthetic medicine. It’s named after the initials of their four daughters. The pair went to med school together and, after four years of practicing hospital medicine, decided to open up a practice and focus on treating patients as a whole. They are hands-on parents who do all of the home and child care tasks, rather than hire out help like many other busy professionals.
"We want to instill these qualities in our daughters," she explains. "We want them to learn how to do everything themselves. We want them to know what it feels like to work hard and be tired."
As a girl mom, Dr. Kiani drills important lessons for her minis.
“I want my daughters to know that there is no one else in this world like them. I want to imprint this concept in their hearts and minds. I want them to love and respect themselves so that others will do the same. There is no shortcut to success. Failure is our biggest teacher. Hard work will deem results. Staying humble and believing in the process is key. Don't ever let the fire, determination, and power within you fade. At the same time remember you are not competing against someone else, you are only competing with yourself. Strive to be better than you were yesterday. Helping others along the way will not dim your light, it will only make the world shine brighter.”
— Dr. Sarah Kiani
Women are the true leaders of the world, according to Dr. Kiani. “Women wear so many hats on a day-to-day basis. We are essential to the health and social development of our families, communities, and countries. Women look at other women for acceptance, support, and appreciation. When the pillar of support is strong, we can truly unleash our full potential in every aspect of our lives, workforce, marriage, motherhood, and sisterhood.”
For women to truly thrive, Dr. Kiani encourages them to invest in self-care and redefine their identity. “When you look good, you feel good,” she reminds us. “When you feel good you have more to offer to your career, family, kids, husband, etc.”
She also is passionate about empowering Islamic women to learn more about all the amazing women mentioned in the Quran, so they can understand what Islam truly says about a woman. “Don't confuse culture and religion,” she warns. “Culturally people will tell you to take the easy way out, to quiet, to surrender, and to choose a different path. But Islamicly we should make the intention of reaching our goals and putting full faith in Allah while working hard for our dreams and learning from our mistakes. Some things are just not meant to be. Everything is from Allah, so accept it and move on. Dwelling on things that didn't go well will only discourage you from stepping forward.”
No matter your culture or faith, when you have your own PLP and make your well-being a priority, you’ll become your own icon.
