Naming a child can feel like an enormous responsibility. Parents want to give their children all the tools they need to succeed in this world and a strong name can feel like part of that. When parents have different naming preferences, it can be difficult to come to an agreement on what to name their offspring, as one concerned father-to-be found out.
This dad took to Reddit’s popular AITA forum to see if he was wrong for shooting down several of his wife’s more quirky name ideas. It was causing tension in their marriage. He did not want to be a jerk, but he also wanted to protect his kid.
The expecting parents have different tastes.
These expecting parents have chosen not to find out the baby’s sex until the birth. This means they have to go in prepared.
“Things are starting to feel very real now so we’ve started to properly discuss names, but we’ve realised we both have vastly different tastes in name style and we are having a hard time finding the right one,” the dad explains. “My wife likes names that are out there and unique but I find these names tacky and silly and would prefer a better known, more traditional name.”
The mom-to-be came up with a list of names.
He goes on to explain that his wife made a list of names she thought he might like. For a girl she chose “Fern, Fennix, Rhodes, Faun, Brixtyn, and Kinley.” For a boy she thought “Spark, Diesel, Quincy, Phoenix, Buck, and Fox” would do nicely.
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The list did not go over well with her partner.
“These names are tamer than what she’s suggested before, but I told her they didn’t feel right,” the concerned dad-to-be explained. “I suggested ideas like Rose instead of Rhodes, Felix instead of Phoenix, and Buchanan instead of Buck. I finally snapped when she suggested Zoomer.”
Things came to a head.
Zoomer was the straw that broke the camel’s back. “I asked if she was serious and said it was a stupid name,” he recalled. “She asked what my problem was and why I was so dismissive of all her ideas and shooting down all the names she likes. I told her we were naming a child and not a dog, and that names can have a huge impact on the child. I said I don’t want my child to be bullied or taken less seriously because they have a ridiculous name. She told my I was rude and that I was the bully for making her feel unsupported. She started crying and went to bed. I decided to give her some time and space so waited till she was sleeping to go to bed.”
The expectant dad was not proud of the way he handled the situation. “I feel bad about coming at her the way I did, but I also feel it needed to be said,” he added. He wanted outsiders' opinions on how to move forward.
Reddit users do not love weird names either.
Redditors understood this dad’s frustration and most were on his side.
“So many people naming their kids like a 9 year old naming a goldfish or a valley girl naming a pocket dog,” chimed in one user. “Unfortunately, it indicates that the parent considering these names does not see the child as a person, but a thing, an amusing accessory to show all her fans how cool she is. This is the first of many battles for the identity and autonomy of your child.”
Some offered useful advice.
One user passed on some helpful advice. “The best piece of advice on baby naming that I remember from one of the parenting books was, ‘If you can't imagine yourself shouting this name across a crowded playground, do not give it to your child,’” they shared.
The dad might have handled the situation better.
Others on Reddit agreed with the father’s sentiments but did not love how he handled the situation.
“This is tricky territory, and when you treat her badly you slip straight into AH territory,” one user mused. “You are definitely looking out for your child here, and your wife isn't thinking about the bullying these 'unique' names will bring your child.”
Dad gave an update.
The post was updated by the dad to fill the forum in on the ongoing situation. “When she got back I explained my concerns and apologised for how I reacted previously,” he stated. “She explained that she has a very common name and there were always multiples in school, and she doesn’t want that for our child. I very rarely experienced this so can’t really comment on how it feels.”
The parents are now working together to find the perfect name. “We’ve decided to look into the app everyone is talking about, and to explore our family tree to see if there are any names we both like. Thank you all for your suggestions,” he concluded.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
