For a lot of people in relationships, meeting coworkers, friends, and family members is a significant rite of passage. These meetings don't always happen — sometimes someone has a good reason for keeping family members separate from their relationships — but on the whole, it's an expected and often important step to take.
One woman recently shared an odd story on Reddit about exactly this. While she's met her boyfriend's family and friends, he recently stopped her from meeting a few people from work. In fact, he told her to hide in his kitchen for an hour so that she wouldn't meet them at all.
The woman wrote that her boyfriend is a pediatrician and she works at a nearby school. The two hadn't seen each other in a while, so she stopped by for a visit recently:
"He was missing me lately and been wanting me to visit and he was too busy so I only got the chance to visit yesterday. We sat down in the living room in his apartment and he was about to make some coffee when the door rang 13 minutes after I arrived."
He saw that his coworkers had come over and asked her to essentially hide.
"He went to take a look through the hole then returned and asked me to get up and follow him to the kitchen," she explained. "I asked why but he didn't say. He had me enter the kitchen and said his 2 friends who are his work colleagues (doctors) came to visit and he wanted me to sit tight for few minutes til they leave. I was confused I asked why not let me just meet them and he said no not like this and asked me to not come out the kitchen til they leave then went to welcome them."
So she reacted.
After about an hour, she decided she'd had enough.
"I sat still waiting as the time passed," she said. "They stayed for an hour and I started calling Donnie but he didn't answer me. I felt uncomfortable and couldn't wait anymore after I was ignored like that. I just took my purse and walked out the kitchen and told Donnie that I got bored of waiting for his friends to leave then said I was leaving and walked through the door immediately feeling upset."
Her boyfriend got mad.
"He was stunned and so were his friends. He called me later saying what I did was disrespectful and rude. He said he asked me this one favor and I didn't do it. I replied that I left because of the treatment I [received] no matter how much he tells me to make myself at home I was still a guest and I was made to feel like I was less than his doctor friends but he swore it wasn't like that and that he considers himself lucky to have known me but still said what I did was not cool and leaving like that and saying what I said infront of his friends was wrong of me."
She clarified a few key details.
After some comments, the woman added a few more details:
- "I already met his family and other people but none of them is in the same field he's in. We also meet publicly."
- "He claimed that they were talking about stuff I wouldn't understand and I'd feel awkward sitting there not knowing what they were talking about."
- "He said I should've made myself busy making dinner in the kitchen instead of waiting til his friends leave since we agreed to eat dinner together but I ruined our plans."
People have bad, bad news for her.
A lot of people think he's cheating.
"All I could think is that she's the main gf since she has met his family and he has a side piece at work and doesn't want his coworkers to know hes cheating," said a commenter. "This is NOT minor."
It's also happened to other people.
"Been there. I have an ex whose family and neighbors I met, we went everywhere together… except I never got to meet anyone from his work or go anywhere near his job. Ended up that he had another secret girlfriend for several months."
Even if he isn't cheating, it's not OK.
Another person pointed out that even if he isn't cheating, nothing about this situation feels good:
"Could be this or it could be half a dozen other things. Doesn't matter. If he'd had a good reason for it, he would've told you right away. It's a deal breaker, agreed. Nobody treats you like this."
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