When most people saw their friends for the first time after lockdown, they got a surreal feeling of how much they’ve missed their faces. But Tina Calo, a 38-year-old director of human resources from New Jersey, said her friends and colleagues didn’t even recognize her — until she spoke. During quarantine, Calo underwent gastric bypass surgery and dropped from 250 pounds on her 5'3" frame to 125 pounds — half her size and the literal weight of an entire person.
Now, post-op, she is celebrating her health, instilling body confidence in her children, and encouraging others that although you can have self-love and know your worth at any weight, if you’re struggling with dieting, then weight loss surgery can help you discover your true self both inside and out.
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Calo’s crew know her as the stylish, witty wife and mom of two who never seemed insecure.
“I have a partner who loves me, and two beautiful children, that I was able to carry on my own (with some help),” she tells LittleThings. “I was never afraid to speak my mind and could talk to anyone. But internally, I always struggled. I would hate taking pictures and find myself always hiding behind others. I was always the ‘funny one’ in hopes that people would never think negatively about me. This body carried my two kids —it kept them healthy and safe. But it wasn’t keeping me healthy and safe — it was doing the opposite and I was at the end of my rope.”
Calo, who grew up with a family that loved to eat and cook together, shares that she was teased in school for her weight, starting in the second grade when a classmate pointed to a healthy eating habits poster and told her, “See what that says? Watch your weight.” She cites middle school as the “absolute worst” and started faking sick so she wouldn’t have to go to school. Eventually, she saw the school therapist.
As the years went on, Calo continued to gain weight. While pregnant with her children, she developed high blood pressure (that stuck even after the pregnancies) and gestational diabetes. “After their births it was confirmed that I was pre-diabetic and would have to continue on medications for that and the high blood pressure,” she confides.
During the start of the pandemic, she gained 20 pounds and considers that a real driving force behind her decision to have surgery.
“I have tried every diet in the book: Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Atkins, South Beach,” admits Calo. “You name it, I tried it. I was the most successful with Jenny Craig. I started that program in high school and lost 35 pounds. I was the thinnest I had ever been in a while and felt great. But because my mentality didn’t make the necessary shift, I would always gain my weight back.”
Having seen both of her parents and brother have successful weight loss surgeries further fueled Calo. “But what ultimately solidified my decision was my family,” she says. “I had two small kids who were relying on me to keep them healthy and happy. What kind of mother would I be if I led them down the wrong path? I couldn’t let that happen.”
Calo underwent a vertical sleeve gastrectomy. “The surgeon removes a large portion of your stomach,” she explains. “The new, smaller stomach is about the size of a banana. It limits the amount of food you can eat by making you feel full after eating small amounts of food.”
She says the process, which took about five months, was fairly simple. “I met with a gastro doctor who told me that I was the perfect candidate. I also had to meet with a therapist and nutritionist multiple sessions to ensure mentally and physically I would be ready to take this on.”
The immediate time after surgery was a bit of a struggle. She breaks it down:
One-week post-surgery: “Feeling lethargy, nausea, and tiredness.”
Two-weeks: “I slowly started to get better. At this point you are only able to drink liquids, broth, and ice pops. The mental strain started to kick in. I was cooking food for my family that I knew I couldn’t eat and that had a tremendous effect on me.”
First month: “At this stage, I was able to eat mushy foods (scrambled eggs, yogurt). This stage helped because I was able to actually give my body nutrients. It took a few weeks after this, but I started to fully digest (no pun intended) the fact that I literally couldn’t eat the things I used to.”
She lost 30 pounds during the first month, plateaued for a month, and then quickly picked back up. Today, Calo maintains a low-carb lifestyle. “I have tried to cut out traditional white flour and sugar. I can no longer eat real ‘meals’ so I stick to small snacks throughout the day. I enjoy a nice snack plate (cheese, meat, fruit, nuts). There are certain foods that just don’t sit well and I have completely steered away from them,” she shares.
The one thing this surgery hasn’t done for Calo is turn her into a “gym rat.” But she loves being able to chase after her kids now on the playground.
Using her experiences, Calo guides her first-grade daughter. “We always say, ‘Do I feel comfortable and confident?’ If the answer is yes, then we wear whatever we want and don’t worry about what other people think. Even when I was in the process of getting the surgery, I always stressed to her that I was getting this surgery, not to change my appearance, but to make me a healthier person for myself and her. A day doesn’t go by where we don’t talk about our daily affirmations. She is fully aware of how amazing she is!”
Looking back, she says, “I can’t believe I allowed myself to get as big as I did. I never ate because I was hungry. Food became an emotional support. I would eat when I was happy, sad, stressed, angry. Food was always there for me to ‘feel better’ but the feeling never lasted long. Food was also a social function for me. Celebrations, hanging out with friends and dates all centered around food. I had to learn how to enjoy myself and cope with my different emotions without having to rely on food.”
For those considering the surgery, Calo urges, “Do not be embarrassed or ashamed! No one knows what you need better than you. But I will say this: until you are truly ready to make a mental shift, you will not be successful. This surgery is only a catalyst to change, it’s not a permanent fix. Eventually you do start to get hungry, you are able to eat, and your stomach can stretch back. The mindset needs to change to ensure you don’t go back to old habits.”
She’s learned, “I can truly change my mindset and the relationship I had with food. For so long I had looked to food to quell every emotion. I don’t need to do that anymore. The feeling food was giving me is no longer something I need or want. The physical difference is just a bonus. The mentality shift to a healthier lifestyle and making better choices was the most important thing.”
Calo’s appetite for life doesn’t need to be tamed.
