I Was Supposed To Lose 10 Pounds On The ‘Military Diet,’ But Here’s What Really Happened

The "military diet" is advertised as a week-long diet in which you can lose up to 10 pounds in just seven days. The diet is divided into two phases. In the first 3 days, you're restricted to a specific meal plan. Everything from the type of food to the portion size is all laid out for you. You are allowed some food substitutions, depending on your preferences. Over the next four days, you can eat anything, as long as you stay under 1,500 calories a day. Exercise is encouraged throughout the week.

It's worth noting, though, that contrary to the name, the "military diet" really has nothing to do with the military.

After browsing the website for the "military diet," I took a closer look at the food I would be eating for at least three days. My entire life, I was told that eating whole, natural foods was best for my body. But this menu tells dieters to consume hot dogs, saltines, and most surprisingly, vanilla ice cream. Everything else seemed right on point: bananas, apples, and broccoli (no surprises there) were on the list.

I did a little more research and found out that I was supposed to consume 1,400 calories on day one, 1,200 on day two, and 1,100 on day three. Being well-seasoned in calorie-counting, I was a little suspicious. There was no way I could consume that much with such small portions.

On a whole, the "military diet" doesn't look like the healthiest calorie-restrictive diet. Still, it's definitely not the worst meal plan I've seen circulating the internet.

According to the "military diet" website, the meal plan was designed by nutritionists to get overweight soldiers into shape. The meals are arranged in special combinations of fat-burning foods like grapefruit and coffee. It's also a form of intermittent fasting, which is meant to speed up fat burn. Finally, a low-calorie diet is supposed to lead to weight loss. The combination of these three factors is meant to help you lose up to 10 pounds a week — which is quite a lofty goal, if you ask me.

The day before the diet started, I bought all my food and channeled my inner Instagram-worthy meal-prep queen. I'm used to doing this every week, so this part was easy. However, it took me about an hour longer than usual because of the sheer number of ingredients.

When I finally had all my meals ready and marked, I stuck them all in the fridge. I was eager to start — well, eager to lose 10 pounds. I ate dinner really late the night before day one so I wouldn't be too quick to eat breakfast in the morning. I knew I had to pace myself.

I started the "military diet" on a Monday, so I packed my lunch box with breakfast, lunch, and dinner, then walked out the door ready to take on the day.

By 10 a.m., I was starving and caved, quickly consuming my grapefruit half and peanut butter on toast. Just an hour later, I was ready for lunch, but my cup of coffee managed to stave off hunger pains for another hour. When I started getting lightheaded, I decided it was time for lunch: a pathetic can of tuna with a piece of toast, and another cup of coffee. I ate slowly, but I didn't want to — you're allowed few seasonings on the "military diet," and all I added to the tuna was salt and pepper. The meal would have been more palatable with a piece of cheese or something. Alas, I couldn't give in yet — I had barely started!

I ended up having dinner at 4 p.m., which is an absurd time to eat, if you ask me. By the time I left the office at 6 p.m., I was exhausted and starving. I got home an hour later and passed out. There was no way I was going to be able to exercise.

I checked MyFitnessPal to see how many calories I consumed: 650 — a far cry from the 1,400 I was promised on this diet.

The morning of day two, I was determined to wait until I walked into the office before eating breakfast. But about 15 minutes after waking up, I wolfed down a single egg on toast and half a banana.

That's right. Not even a full banana.

Grumpy, I dumped my lunch and dinner in my lunchbox and set off to work. I noticed that I was a lot more irritated than usual. It seemed like everyone on the train was bothering me in some way. I wanted to unleash my anger, but I didn't have enough energy to even speak.

The entire day was filled with temptations. I picked up on all the delicious meals everyone else was eating. My desk neighbor ate a giant plate of pasta, and I could feel myself drooling just catching a glimpse of it. Another coworker came by my desk with a chocolate cupcake, and I wanted to slap myself for refusing. Heck, by the end of the day I was lusting after a whole raw red bell pepper. And I don't even like bell peppers!

All this can be explained by what my lunch and dinner actually consisted of. Lunch was only an egg, five saltines, and one cup of cottage cheese. Dinner, which I ate at 3 p.m., was half a cup of carrots, one cup of broccoli, two hot dogs, and half a banana. I skipped the vanilla ice cream altogether (I did this for the entire diet), and just ate a whole banana because, let's be real, eating just half a banana is kind of absurd.

I ended up walking a good portion of my way home for exercise, about three miles. The expected calorie intake was 1,200 calories. In reality, I had consumed less than 8oo.

With just one day left on the restricted calorie menu of the "military diet," I was surprisingly energized. I couldn't wait to eat real food again, but my cravings were totally gone. I wasn't drooling while staring at random fruits and veggies, but I think it was because I was so disgusted by all the bland food I was eating. Breakfast was a little more flavorful than the two previous days, though still quite meager (I was excited that cheddar cheese was a part of this meal). Lunch was just ridiculous: a single egg on toast.

Then, dinner was so disgusting that I could barely finish it despite how hungry I was. Go ahead, try eating two cans of tuna straight, followed by a banana, and let me know how you feel.

But the biggest change of all was the newfound pain in my joints, especially in my legs. As a half-marathon runner, I'm used to covering long distances on foot, so there was no way the pain was just from walking. It persisted throughout the day, so I avoided getting up at all.

I went home and went straight to bed. I knew that freedom and real food were mine in just a few hours.

I woke up unexpectedly at 3 a.m. and decided to weigh myself.

I had lost a grand total of — wait for it — half a pound.

I stepped off the scale and promptly began to devour everything else I had in my fridge, and went back to bed with a stomachache.

By the next morning, I felt more or less normal again. I wasn't craving anything in particular and ate regular, healthy meals throughout the day.

But by the time my office's happy hour rolled around, I couldn't help myself when delicious free food was put right in front of my nose. I ate so much that night, but I was so, so happy. Food had never tasted better! Honestly, I knew right away that eating 1,500 calories wasn't going to be possible, and I'm pretty sure that I wasn't going to be able to stick to the diet.

I decided to take it easy and not exercise. I ended up drinking alcohol instead, but if you ask me, it was well-deserved.

Fridays are usually the worst in terms of counting calories, as my office offers free catered lunch. It's hard to gauge what and how much you're eating when it's all spread out in front of you, but I made a conscious effort to stay within 1,500 calories like the "military diet" suggests. Breakfast was a hearty bowl of oatmeal with some honey, and lunch and dinner consisted of salads packed with goodness: avocado, tomatoes, some rice, and fried plantains.

My joints still hurt, probably more than the days before. I tried running a few laps around my local park, but after just a single mile, I was ready to call it a day.

I usually don't eat a lot on the weekends, so staying under 1,500 calories wasn't going to be an issue. I was, however, still mad that my joints were still in pain. I considered going to a doctor, but I figured I just needed to rest after putting my body through such a low-calorie diet. I stuck to low-impact exercises like biking and lots of stretching. As for food, I stuck to eggs for breakfast, a light salad for lunch, and a small chicken pot pie for dinner.

Finally, day seven of the "military diet" rolled around. I was anxious to find out if I had really lost 10 pounds. I felt a little lighter than usual, but I chalked it up to wishful thinking. I stepped on the scale first thing in the morning.

Unsurprisingly, that half pound I lost came back to haunt me. I literally lost no weight on the "military diet" and suffered for no reason.

In addition to not losing a single pound, I didn't see any visible difference in my face or body. My joints stopped hurting after a few days, but that was the most uncomfortable part of the diet, other than being hungry all the time. The only change I observed was psychological: I know that I'm more or less capable of restricting my calorie intake if I really want to, so now I have no excuse to give into cravings or eat everything in sight.

I was skeptical at the beginning of the diet, though somewhat hopeful that I would lose at least a few pounds on the "military diet." But if anyone asks me if it works, I would say definitely not.

Weight loss on such an extreme and unhealthy diet isn't impossible. If a dieter chose to keep up the three-day menu throughout the entire week, I'm sure some weight loss would occur. However, this just isn't sustainable. I may not be a nutritionist or a dietician, but I do know that it's best to stick to a healthy diet of whole foods and a sustainable amount of calories. Achieving your health goals is possible without putting your body through stress and starvation!

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