We are getting into the holiday season this year, and gratitude is a theme that will come up over and over again. While many of us do have a lot to be grateful for, it's hard to deny that the past few years have been challenging in a lot of ways. Some of us have been sick, our loved ones have been sick, and, since thousands of Americans have died from the health crisis, some people reading this have lost loved ones as well.
Additionally, most of us have been uprooted from our "normal" and thrust into a world that doesn't seem to make sense. Political tensions have been high all year, and many of us are trying to balance working from home with educating our kids from home, on top of our usual responsibilities and obligations.
With all that in mind, it makes sense that it might feel hard to talk about gratitude with our kids this year. Here's why it's important to do so anyway — and a few tips for making the conversation count.
Why Gratitude Is Important
It can be easy to become caught up in everything that is hard and difficult about life, and that's true this year or in any other. Teaching and modeling gratitude to our kids is really important, because doing so will help our children grow to be kind, empathetic adults. Being truly thankful and knowing how to express that feeling is crucial toward this end.
Gratitude Starts Early
There's no magic age for when it's right to teach your kids about gratitude, and it's really the kind of thing that you can just start doing from birth. Gratitude is more than knowing you need to say please and thank you — it's about recognizing that someone has gone out of their way to do something for you, and that you appreciate that effort. Or sometimes, gratitude is about being thankful for what you do still have, even if you have lost a lot.
Talking About Gratitude When It's Hard
If your family has been hit particularly hard this year, it can feel nearly impossible to imagine sitting down and finding one thing to be grateful for. And sometimes, the best thing you really can do is just admit exactly that to your kids. It's OK for kids to know their parents struggle sometimes. After all, we're only human.
It could also be helpful to keep in mind that you don't have to express gratitude only about big, important things. Obviously, you're probably pretty happy and thankful that you and your kids are alive and healthy, and you can absolutely mention that. But it's also OK to tell your kids that you're thankful This Is Us is finally back, because it gives you a little alone time with your feelings that helps you recharge. It's even OK to tell your kids that you're thankful the neighbor with the loud Chihuahua finally moved away, because that dog was super yappy. You can all have fun with it.
Then you can ask your kids what they're grateful for this year. You never know — their answers could really surprise you. Kids have a way of coming up with some of the funniest answers sometimes, and if you've provided a space that assures your kids they can express gratitude about anything they're thankful for, you'll probably get at least a few responses that feel like they're coming out of nowhere. To me, that's the good stuff in parent-child bonding — the unexpected moments that you won't forget.
It's also OK if your kids aren't quite sure what to say; they don't have to have an answer just because you asked a question. You can also make sure they know it's OK to think about their answer and to come back to you later.
One of the best parts about talking about gratitude with your kids is that it gives you an easy opportunity to tell your children what you're most grateful for: them!
